I Don't Believe in Fate
by ThumperE23
Summary: Lucas Scott is not the same man he once was. Once a recluse he was brought out of his shell to write a new book. Now five years later he is writing another book. A single father he prefers not to leave North Carolina. He meets and new challenge when his usual editor is away on Maternity Leave, and a new young and up and coming editor Kari-Ann takes over his new book.
1. Chapter 1

**I Don't Believe in Fate**

Lucas Scott is not the same man he once was. Once a recluse he was brought out of his shell to write a new book. Now five years later he is writing another book. A single father he prefers not to leave North Carolina. He meets and new challenge when his usual editor is away on Maternity Leave, and a new young and up and coming editor Kari-Ann takes over his new book. Told from Kari-Ann's POV

" _I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon you doesn't matter - it's only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you."_

-Henry Rollins

Disclaimer

I own nothing

 **Chapter 1 Rockaway Beach**

Come to New York City they said, be at the center of it all. Have a finger on the pulse of the world. To this day, I can't figure out how in a city of Eight Million people someone can be so alone. Here I am, standing in my broom closet of an apartment looking out the window at Brooklyn. I chose to live here, in this broom closet, and not to live large, live to my means the best I could.

Five years ago, I got off the airplane at JFK Airport, tanned, confident, new degree in my hand, and broken in spirit. You need not worry about the last; I'm so over that. As I climbed into the Taxi, I pulled a Madonna and said take me to the center of it all. He brought me to Time Square, and as I stood on the corner of 43rd and Broadway, I looked over the lights and felt small. I was an ant in the sea of people and stories, and that was what I wanted to be.

I had some money and soon found a job. Finding this apartment followed, after the job. It was an entry-level position, but I was happy to have it. Working was a tough adjustment, but as soon as I got my healthcare straighten out I found a doctor, and we talked about my health, and what I could and couldn't do. So, not having any family, I worked long hours. At first, it was to make up for the mistakes that I made while I was learning how to work, never really working before. Soon, with a lot of hard work, I got the hang of it and started to put the hours in because I liked it. Those hours were long and hard, but they paid off. I was advanced quickly and got the reputation of being able to edit a book rather quickly and with good robust notes, and soon had several minor successes under my belt. Now, I'm an up and coming young editor.

I look around my apartment. Yes, my apartment is small, in fact, my apartment is the essence of tiny house living. Everything shared space with something else. Other than some furniture, I've acquired very few items; I have no TV, internet, or home phone. My computer is my work laptop, and it only comes out for me to edit a book, and write notes. I have more area appropriated clothing, but that is pretty much it. There is this one shelf that vanity makes me keep, it's the essential books in my life, and most are signed. Among them, I included the first book I edited and the first edition of each book I edited that was a best seller. There were two other books, one is unopened, and the other has seen better days. They are unimportant, but I have them.

It's a Thursday, and I'm in-between books right now. I'll probably get one tomorrow or Monday; I'll check the slush pile in the morning at the office, there might be something of interest there. That's how someone found Nicholas Sparks and The Notebook. I don't know, just don't want to be bored this weekend, as I have nothing going on. Those days of idleness have long since passed me, I have money in the bank, and don't want to spend it, I could get a lovely one-bedroom apartment, but I like my studio. Its small, clean and keeps me focused and hungry. No more do I crave the quiet beach days, or the smell of salt water as the waves crash on the beach, the morning surf and the thrill of an excellent but risky cut.

Now, now, that is the past and not your life anymore. No more Twenty-seven miles of beach, and sun. To survive war you must become a war, someone said, and well here in New York City, to survive you most become New York. These Northeasterners have away about of them. They call themselves lazy, yet they do more work than anyone I knew before coming here, and well it because go with the flow or be crushed by the tide. They work hard, but many of them party very hard too.

I walk over to the bookcase and looks at the books. There was this one book that showed the worn-out spine. I read it many times, and one would say it was an essential book in my life. In a sense, it changed my life. I run my finger along the spine and smiled. I've not read the book in years, but I could reference any line in that book anytime.

There was a buzz at my intercom. I walked over and clicked it on.

"Hello," I said in the speaker.

"Kari, its..." was what the voice that came from the intercom speaker. It was garbled, but I knew who it was. She was one of the few people I socialized with here in New York. Recluse, yeah that is a good word for me. I'm incredibly private and keep a very low profile, and in all honesty, I want to keep it that way. People hurt people, people are selfish, and well people stab you in the back. It's a fact, and well I've had too much of that in my life.

I walk over to the intercom and click the button, "Is that you Muir?" I asked.

"Yeah, Kari who else would it be? Do you have a booty call coming over then I can come back?" she responded.

"No," I said and buzzed her into the building. It took a few minutes for her to get up the stairs. My building doesn't have a working elevator, kind of like on Big Bang Theory. Yes, I know the show, I've never actually watched it, but people at work talk about it, and they mentioned the non-working elevator. I have great legs from walking up and down the stairs, plus I also jog a lot. Honestly, I'm a bit of a gym rat, gives me something to do when I'm in-between editing books.

There was a knock on the door. I know I didn't order any food, so it is either the latest serial killer in the area or Muir. Finally, I opened the door, of course, I checked to see who it was, and I let in Muirgen Harper in. How to describe Muirgen or Muir, well she's this Long Island Princess. Her Daddy had money and she never really had to work, and only took the job at the publisher so she could live in the city and look for a husband. She's entirely my opposite, and yet we're good friends.

"Kari-Ann, why did you take so long letting me in," Muir said.

I shrugged, "I had to get across my apartment," I said.

Muir looked around my tiny apartment, "Yeah, it was a trek," she said.

"We all have our mountains to climb," I said.

"So, Kari, I hear that your in-between books, is this true?" Muir asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I just delivered my last one for publication today," I said and walked to my one batter window and looked out on the streets.

"So, you're going to get something one of the assistances thinks has merit off the slush pile?" Muir asked.

I nodded, "That's the plan," I said, and traced my finger along the window.

"Do you know it's Memorial Day Weekend?" Muir asked.

I shrugged, "I haven't noticed," I said, and this is true, I would have probably gone to the office and found it closed and then just went home.

"So why don't you head out East with me?" Muri asked and looked around the apartment, "How can you live here? It's tiny, and I know you make enough for someplace bigger."

"What do I do, Muir?" I asked, "I work, work-out, sleep, and eat, I don't need anything bigger than this."

Muri shook her head, "We need to get you laid," she said.

I sighed, not this again, "We? Is there a mouse in your pocket?" I asked.

"Kari-Ann, you're all work and no play, that's positively boring. When was the last time you got some hot sweaty sex going down?" Muir asked.

"Who is the president?" I asked.

Muri sighed, "It's worse than I thought," she said.

I love Muir to death, in some ways she reminds me of some old friend from my past. A little vapid but well-meaning and honestly very fun to be around. I'm not a cloistered monk, I do go out, mostly at Muir's prompting, and we usually have fun, and I wake up hung over. There was this one time on the subway coming back from Manhattan she kissed me. I was drunk, and she was experimenting, it was nice, but no, not Muir, I respect her too much for that.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I bet there are cobwebs down there," Muir said.

"Isn't that a little personal?" I asked, laughing, Muir was just so up front, I always seemed to have a soft spot for people like that.

"It's decided, I'm kidnapping you, we're going out East this weekend and have fun," she stated.

I looked at her like, what are you talking about and shook my head, "Um, no I have to work tomorrow," I said, and I never take time off unless it's a Doctor's Appointment.

"Nope, you can't talk your way out of this Kari, I am kidnapping you and taking you out East, now start packing a bag," she said. "No better yet, we're getting you new clothes, and fuck it a makeover, we're going to make you hot on that whole another level, maybe lighten your hair, you'd be killer as a blonde."

"No, my hair stays dark," I said, "Better to be the dark woman, then the light woman."

Muir laughed, "You do have a point there," she said and wandered around my one room. She was looking for my bag. Finally, she came to my vanity shelf and looked it over. "So, these are all your best sellers?"

I nodded, and looked at her, "They are the books that are important to me," I said, "Two of them I didn't edit."

Muir fingered the one with the broken spine. She finally pulled them off the shelf and looked at the cover, "An Unkindness of Ravens, by Lucas Scott," Muir read, "I remember reading this, interesting book."

I nodded, "I think everyone our age read that book," I said.

Muir put the book back carefully and looked at the one next to it, "A Twist of Fate; A Girls Journey by Kas Scott," she said, "Well that's the mystery, she was a great writer, she pulled a JD Salinger."

I shrugged, "It's a good book, she had a fucked life," I said.

Muir laughed, "Get what you need, and I don't mean clothes," she said.

"Do I have too?" I asked.

"Kari-Ann, you need to have some fun," Muir said.

"Ugh, we do have fun," I said.

Muir snorted and looked at me, "Just pack up your stuff, and I have a car downstairs," she said, and she gave me a look. The look was her look which meant I would do this.

"What stuff do I need, Muir?" I asked, "You said you were buying me all new stuff."

"Stop being a wiseass, Kari-Ann," Muir said, "Get your pills, and stuff, and let's get out of the city."

"What about work tomorrow?" I asked, Muir.

She laughed, "Stick out your tongue," she said. So of course, I did wondering where she was going with this. Muir walked over to me and put her hand on my forehead and nodded, "Yes, I think you're coming down with a cold, and you will be too sick for work tomorrow."

I sighed, "Okay, Muir, I'll do it, if it will shut you up," I said.

Muir smiled pogoed a bit and clapped her hand, "Yeah, now get your shit and let's roll," she said.

Under her directions, I got only my meds and a few odds and ends. Soon we were heading east on the Long Island Expressway. Somewhere along the way, we stopped, and Muir used her black card to get me everything she thought I needed, and even arrange for a place to be open late for me to get waxed, and they also did my nails. I guess having money and connections work out for those who have them.

It was dark by the time we reached where we were staying the weekend. You can say a lot of things about Muir, but this time she was right, I needed a bit of R&R. After calling out sick the next day, we spent time getting rid of my horrible pale skin.

Indeed it felt like old times when I was in college when everything was light and fun. There were even some cute young guys we flirted with out there in Montauk. Even with being twenty-seven years old, I still look young and certainly rock the brown hair. Sadly, I will admit on Saturday Night I let the physical urges get the best of me, and I got laid. He was good in bed, and fun, knew a thing or two, but well I've had better, but it scratched that itch I didn't think I had.

The weekend was a blur of fun and drinking. It was Monday morning at the time I woke up, and we were heading back to the City. I leaned back in my passenger seat and kept my eyes closed. It was time just to let the weekend get processed and think about the week, a short one, but still, the work week coming up.

Muir finally turned to me, "Who are you and what did you do with Kari-Ann?" she asked.

"What do you mean, Muir?" I asked.

"Girl, you have some legs, I didn't know you had it in you. Shit, I had a tough time keeping up with you," Muir said.

I shrugged, "I was just blowing off some steam," I said.

"Some steam?" Muir asked, "Tell me, Kari, what are you hiding, you've been well not too forthcoming about your life before New York."

"Nothing to say, I went to school at UCLA and well had my heart fucked with, and I came out here for a new start," I said, which was the truth.

"Well, you can certainly use those baby blues of yours, you had every guy eating out of your hands when you just gave them that come hither look you have," Muir said.

"They were easy," I said, "I guess, they wanted thier Montauk Story. I have mine, so oh well."

Muir shook her head, "I think there is more," she said.

I shook my head, "No more," I said.

She dropped me off, and I thanked her for everything this weekend. Muir is one of those people you rarely run across in life. For all her shallowness she was well-meaning, and she wanted me to enjoy myself. Without a friend like Muir, I'd probably not have survived here in Brooklyn as long as I have.

Now I have all these new clothes and very little space to put them. I sighed and looked around the small apartment. This weekend took a lot out of me, and I threw the dirty clothes in my laundry bag and changed into some sweats. After making a quick meal, I turned on my stereo, I settled into my comfy chair and ate, and spent the rest of the night reading a book.

The next morning, I was back on routine, as if I didn't miss a beat. I was up and out the door I went for my morning jog. Breakfast, meds, and a quick shower were what followed next. I dressed for work, and put my sneakers on. I don't wear tall heels as I'm almost five feet eleven inches tall, both of my parents were tall, and I got the height from them. Yes, it's the first time I mentioned them, and probably be my last, they are both ass holes, and well they aren't in my life anymore.

With my bag, including my work laptop and my dress shoes, I head to the subway, with a stop off at the local deli for my morning coffee. I'm fully awake and don't need coffee, but well old habits die hard, and it's going to be a long day today. I feel I need to make up for playing hooky on Friday, and with one less day of the week well, just me Ms. Workaholic.

I get up early, so the subway isn't crazy crowded when I head into Manhattan. I've lived in The city for five years, and I can get around the city in my sleep. Its auto-pilot and there are times I completely black out when I ride into work.

Finally, I get to the office and head to my little part of the world and unpack. I get my computer up and running and check over the four days of back emails. Nothing crazy and I answer what I need to, those emails that required me to respond. Finally, I put on my dress shoes and start headed around the office for the coffee machine. I'm a caffeine addict if you haven't figured it out.

In the kitchenette was two of my co-workers, they were younger and nice guys. But they are younger guys and could be a bit crude and sexist. I have thick skin, and I let it pass as they looked at me with nothing but respect. One was named Corbin, and he has a sharp mind, and someone I will bounce ideas off. The other one, Sawney, was well just here. They were looking at one of their smartphones. I do not need for one, and kind of like my semi-off the grid existence, and just have my pre-paid dumb phone.

"Hey Kari," Sawney said when he noticed me.

"Sawney," I said.

"Feeling better?" he asked. Sawney was a nice guy, just not that swift.

"Yes, I am," I said, "Ate some bad Souvlaki."

"I didn't know you ate Greek Food," Sawney said.

I shrugged, "Got to live life," I said, "You know what Henry Rollins said."

"What did Henry Rollins say?" Sawney asked.

" _No Such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as downtime. All you got is lifetime. Go_ ," I said.

Sawney laughed. I noticed Corbin had his nose stuck in the phone. I looked at him.

"Oh, sorry," Corbin said, "How was your weekend, Kari?" he asked.

I shrugged, "It was okay," I said and noticed in the shiny metal, I got a bit of a tan, and I was going to have to do my roots soon, "What are you looking at?"

"You know, guy stuff," Corbin said.

I laughed, they are cute trying not to offend me. I'm not easily offended, and in all honesty, I appreciate the female form like most guys. "Guy stuff, you know, I like guy stuff," I said, teasing him.

"It's one of those hot college cheerleader things," Corbin said.

I made a humming sound and shook my head, "Cheerleaders, too cliché," I said and went to get my coffee. Sawney went back to look at the phone. I had better things to do, then look at pictures of young women and have dreams about them. That's what it seems to me what most guys do with that stuff.

"Damn," Sawney said, which made me turn around.

"No way," Corbin said.

I shook my head and went about making my coffee. I'm so used to it, and I ignored them pretty much.

"Kari," Sawney said, and I turned to look at him.

"You're right," Corbin said.

"Right about what?" I asked, now curious and a bit miffed that they were calling me for nothing. I don't have time for pranks.

"Sorry Kari, this cheerleader looks just like you," Sawney said.

I shook my head in disbelief; no one looks like me. Walking over Corbin handed the phone over to me, and I looked at it. Well, it took my breath away, there was this young beautiful redheaded cheerleader, in her UNC Tar Heels blue uniform, and Tar Heel Blue bow in her hair. As this was a legitimate site, I looked at the name, Raegan Scott. Hmmm, interesting, for about a few seconds.

"Passing resemblance," I said, "I wish I looked that good and was that young."

"C'mon, except for the red hair she could be your sister," Corbin said.

I shrugged, "If you believe so," I said and walked away. Poker face, Kari, that was a shocker, boy does she look like you. Hard to believe that, well don't worry about it. It's nothing, and shouldn't shake you, Kari-Ann, you belong to this world, and well nothing, don't let them see you shaken.

I get back to my place in the office and find Muir standing there. She shook my head.

"Hey, Crazy Girl," Muir said.

I sighed, "Muir, please don't call me that in the office," I said.

"C'mon, Kari, I couldn't believe this, and well I never knew you could surf, you showed those guys up," Muir said.

"Muirgen Harper, I don't know what you are talking about, that was the first time I was on a surfboard," I said, "And I told you I was blowing off some steam."

"Right, anyways, here is a copy of all the pictures," Muir said and handed me an SD Card.

"Thanks, you took pictures?" I asked.

"I posted them on Facebook too," Muir said.

Damn, I don't want my face out there. Then again, I have like a minimum Web Presences so what does it matter. "Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Well I can't tag you in them, because of you well, are such a cavewoman and don't even have a Facebook page," Muir said, "Even my Grandma has a Facebook Page."

I shrugged, "Well maybe you can tag your grandma in those pictures," I said.

"Very funny," Muir said.

"Hey Muir," Corbin said and walked over to my space.

"Corbin," Muir said and rolled her eyes.

"Want to see Kari as a redhead?" Corbin asked.

"What? Did you dig up some details about Ms. Kari-Ann here? Maybe a long forgotten abandoned Facebook page?" Muir asked.

"Corbin, is this that stupid hot cheerleader article?" I asked.

"Hot cheerleaders?" Muir said, "Show me, Corbin."

Corbin handed his phone over to Muir, and she looked at it. She started to laugh, "That's Lucas Scott's daughter Raegan, she came up with him last time he was here. I had to entertain her while he was with Lindsey talking about that last book," Muir said, and looked at me, "She does kind of look like you Kari, and damn if I'm not mistaken the last time he was here was the last time you were out sick."

I shrugged, "I don't know, and I couldn't see anything that you two are claiming to see," I said.

"Bull," Muir said, "She looks like you if you had red hair."

I laughed and shook my head, "Nope, don't see it," I said, just as my phone rang. I looked it over and saw it was an internal number. Saved by the bell, "Kari-Ann Sawyer," I said as I picked up the phone.

"Kari, please come to my office," the voice of our boss, Kyran Burns said.

"Sure, be there in a minute," I said and got up. I grabbed my glasses and a notepad.

"What's up?" Muir asked.

"Kyran wants to see me," I said.

"I hope it's not about you calling out sick Friday," Muir said.

I shrugged, "I don't know," I said and walked to the office. I knocked on the door jam.

"Come in Kari," he said, "Close the door."

I came in, closed the door and sat down. Kyran Burns was in his early sixties, bald and overweight, but had an energy about him that was hard to describe. He saw talent in me and over the five years of us working together he developed my career and cultivated my talent. I wouldn't be where I was without him.

"I would have had this talk with you Friday, but you were sick," Kyran said and looked at me. He knew I wasn't sick, by the look in his eyes, "But well you were going to need that weekend after this one."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well I'm going to give you a big break," he said.

"Really, wow, are you sure I'm ready for this?" I asked.

"Kari, you're more than ready for this," he said, "Also you better not screw this up."

I shook my head, "Have I ever let you down?" I asked.

"No," he said, "This is an important author, and well I want you to slam dunk this."

I smiled broadly; I'm always up for a challenge. "Bring it," I said.

"Well, this is one of Lindsay's authors but she's off on maternity leave, and the bosses want this book for the holidays, and well Lindsay won't have the time to work on it, so I'm giving you the shot," he said.

I nodded. Lindsay Strauss handled most of the high-profile authors in our division. She was the most experienced editor and had many of these relationships going back years. This book is a big-time break.

"So, Kyran, don't kill me with the suspense, what's the name of the book?" I asked.

"It's called _The Empty Man_ ," he said.

"Really? Doesn't sound exciting," I said, "We might have to suggest a change in the title."

Kyran shrugged, "You could try but he's a rather stubborn one, and well Lindsay always brought the best work out of him," he said.

"So, who is it?" I asked.

"Lucas Scott," he said and slid the folder and the manuscript over to me. A flash drive which had a digital copy of the book was also there. There was probably a treatment and a summary as well as the actual work. A lot of work, but I know I could do it. I'm just not sure I want to work with Lucas Scott. He drove Lindsay crazy, and well I'm not into this broken man shit. His earlier works were much better, _An Unkindness of Ravens_ and _The Comet_ were his best works. I didn't enjoy _Sins of a Father_.

"Do you really want to give me Lucas Scott?" I asked.

Kyran nodded, "There is no one else I would trust with his novel other than you, Kari," he said.

I nodded, "I'll do my best," I said and looked at him, "Anything else?"

"He usually likes Lindsay to head down there after the first set of notes," Kyran said.

"I'm not sure I would like to do that," I said.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Kyran said.

"Okay, it looks like I have to go over Lindsay's notes and read this…King James version," I said.

Kyran laughed, "Yeah, he can write epics," he said.

I got up and headed back to my place. I was glancing over the treatment. What I thought more angst about some missing daughter, he had found when he wrote _Sins of a Father_. Why can't he just marry that chick Peyton and have this happily ever after? It would sell, and we wouldn't have to be subjected to this Nicholas Sparks tragic love story shit.

Muir was waiting for me when I got back to my desk. I hate to say it, but I often wonder if Muir ever gets any work done. Taking my seat at my desk, I put down the pile.

"So, what did Kyran want?" Muir asked.

"I got one of Lindsay's books while she's on maternity leave," I said.

"Wow, cool, that's a big break, so who did you get?" Muir asked.

"Lucas Scott," I said.

"Hun, talk about a twist of fate," Muir said, "We were looking at that picture of his daughter, who looks just like you."

"Well I wanted to work with a big author," I said.

"Damn, you got one," Muir said.

I nodded, "I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one," I said.

"Where was that from?" Muir asked.

"A movie," I said.

"Okay, well I have to get to my books," Muir said and left.

I looked at the pile before me. Yeah, just what I needed, not only a whiny writer, a high-profile client, and well someone that wants me to personally discuss his notes down in some backwater called Tree Hill North Carolina. That is a total FML moment. As I pick up the printed manuscript, I look at the cover page. Well, what did Henry Rollins say " _Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it._ "


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 Sounds of Silence**

I have a specific process as I go through the book I'm about to edit. Primarily I'm using this method since I was not the one who started the process. Lindsay is a great editor, and she made Lucas Scott what he was, but I'm not her, and she has a different method. Before I rip apart a colleague of mine, I want to get into their head. So, I read all the correspondence and the notes for the initial work. Also, I read any supporting documents, such as the treatment and the summary. As I expected, this novel is more of this Lucas Scott tragic loss story. He is writing about life after finding out about his long-lost daughter Kas. Yeah, not a very interesting story for me, I have my parent issues, daddy issues, mommy issues, and I was an only child. As I would have said in the past and will probably continue to say, he needs just to marry Peyton and end this angst fest.

I must email him and tell him I'm working on his novel instead of Lindsay. Kyran trusts me, and I don't want to fail him. Lucas Scott, what is there to say about him, the illegitimate son of high school basketball star turned cars salesman, who eventually went to jail for murdering his brother. His half-brother, the same father, is a former NBA player, played two years before being forced to retired. His half-sister, the same mother, is also his cousin, father is his murdered uncle, and he has a daughter that just graduated from UNC. His sister-in-law had a few minor hits as a musician. Lucas Scott has also been married twice, and divorced twice and was raising his daughter from his first marriage, Raegan Scott. God, it sounds like that song from The Offspring, The Kids Aren't All Right. Broken dreams, and shattered lives, no wonder he writes that tragic love story stuff. The bored housewives most love that shit.

It's just about eleven when Muir comes bounding over to my desk. Again, does Muir even get any work done? I do love her as my best friend, but what does she get done. Since nine o'clock I've read the first five chapters of _The Empty Man_ and all the other documents, I bet Muir is still trying to figure out the candy bar label. Good thing she distracted me, I need more coffee.

"Kari, did you bring lunch?" Muir asked, "Please say you didn't."

I sigh and look up at the blonde, "I did, but what are you thinking?" I asked.

"Well, I want Chinese, and well I bought us Epica and Lacuna Coil tickets for the Playstation Theater Friday," Muir said.

I sigh, "I'll have the beef and broccoli, and Muir, you know I just got assigned this hot potato, and I need to get it done," I said.

"C'mon, Crazy Girl, you can knock off work early Friday, it's just down the street, and when the shows are done you can spend the weekend doing whatever you need to do, as I promise I'll leave you alone," Muir said.

"Damn it, Muir, of course, I'll go, but leave me alone the rest of the week and get me coffee from the machine," I said.

"Score!" Muir said, and took my cup and was gone. I turned back to the manuscript, it's got merit, and say what you will about Lucas Scott, his writing always was well done and had value. It needs to be tweaked and trimmed, but that is normal. My god, I had a good thought about a new Lucas Scott novel, what will come of this revelation.

Now it was time for the email. I put it off for as long as I could. Better to write an informed email then an ignorant one. Putting down the King James' Version, I belly up to my laptop and open my Outlook. I never used Outlook before I started working here, it use to scare me. I've warmed up to it, since. I pull his contact information sheet out of the final and found his email address.

Creating a new email, I type in his email address. PENSWOARDRAVEN22 , weird email, and who uses AOL anymore? It could be an old email. I Blind Carbon Copy, Kyran, that's BCC to you heathens.

 _Dear Mister Scott,_

 _I am Kari-Ann Sawyer. I'm an associate editor at your publisher. As you might know or otherwise informed your usual editor, Lindsay Strauss, is away on maternity leave, and since we want to have this book available for the holidays, I've been assigned to edit your latest novel, The Empty Man. I've just started reading the communication between you and Ms. Strauss, as well as her notes and the other supporting documents. I will be in contact as soon as possible with the first set of notes for your review. I've also attached my resume of work I've done for the publisher, and assure you I am quite capable of getting the best we can out of this book. Please feel free to reach out to men with any questions and comments._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Kari-Ann Sawyer_

 _Associate Editor._

I double checked it and then emailed it out. Now, right back to reading the manuscript. Lucas' writing had matured since _An Unkindness of Ravens_ ; again he was just a teenager when he wrote that book. Maybe that was why I liked it, because it had all this hope and bright-eyed enthusiasm, as they could take on the world.

My mind wandered to that night, it was March, my birthday to be exact, and I was sitting center court of some abandoned basketball court, crying my eyes out. My world had come crashing down around me, my heart and spirit broken. Enough Kari-Ann, don't waste your energy looking back, you're not going that way. That was the past, and you left that pitiful world behind.

Muir came over with my coffee and then headed back to her desk. Maybe she might get something done today. I do love Muir, but she can be a drain on energy. So, after the ritual of the caffeine, back to the tome of Lucas Scott. Interesting how his life seems so void of everything, and it seems this Peyton chick had moved back to Tree Hill from Malibu after their love child disappeared and her father got sick. But she still seems neuritic; not everyone can have a good life, boy do I know that. So, Kari-Ann just push through this, nothing to make you worry.

Sawney came by my desk next. He brought by some mail that got mixed up with his, and he took a seat in my spare chair.

"You hear who is downstairs?" he asked.

"Sawney, do I look like I care?" I asked as I looked up from the manuscript.

"Well just in case you're interested, Haley Adams is downstairs," Sawney said.

"Who?" I asked, and every one of my warning lights went off in my head.

"Haley Adams, you know the model," Sawney said.

I shook my head, "Again who?" I asked, great now the fucking paparazzi will be around here.

"She's the oldest daughter of the Fashion Design Brooke Davis," Sawney said.

I shrugged, "Who?" I asked.

"The Designer of Clothes over Bros," Sawney said.

I sighed, "How do you even know that, Sawney?" I asked.

"Kari, she has two hot daughters, Haley and Sawyer, and both model for her, you know c'mon, you have to have some clue, I saw you sometime read the Post, and they get on Page Six every so often," Sawney said.

I rolled my eyes, one Sawney is trying my patience, two I have work to do, and three I don't want to run into Haley Adams. "Can I get back to reading this manuscript?" I asked.

"Okay, I thought you would be interested," Sawney said and took off.

I sighed and looked at the manuscript. What was a fashion model doing here? What was Haley Adams doing as a model? Stop drifting Kari and let's get back to work.

I never make notes in the first reading. I want to think about it and then check the fundamental mistakes. It's the second reading that I would start making my hand-written notes, and the third I would make them on the computer file and then send them back. Hopefully, I can talk Lucas Scott out of having me fly down to Tree Hill, not a trip I want to make, and by his writing, it doesn't sound like a place I want to be.

Muir came over with the Chinese food at lunchtime. She took her plate and sat in my spare chair, and I sat in my desk chair. We often ate lunch together and would bullshit and talk about the latest stuff at work.

"So, did you hear?" Muir asked.

"Is this about the model for some clothing line named Clothes over Bros downstairs?" I asked.

Muir nodded, "Yeah, Haley Adams," she said.

I shook my head, "Why do we have a model downstairs?" I asked.

"Rumor is she is helping out with some book to help young girls have positive body image; it's part of Clothes Over Bros new campaign, Zero isn't a Size," Muir said.

I shrugged, "That's a good campaign, but what type of name is Clothes Over Bros? I would by anything that would have that name on the label," I said.

Muir laughed, "Some of the best stuff I bought you and you wore this weekend was from Brooke Davis," she said, "I love her stuff."

Oh shit, now that's a news flash. She was just throwing stuff at me, and I never read the label. "I stand corrected," I said.

Muir asked, "Can you only work normal hours tomorrow?" Muir asked.

I sighed, "What do you need me to do with you?" I asked.

"Well the Yankees are in town, and I have tickets for the bleachers near right field, and you know my future husband, that dreamy Aaron Judge is playing for the Yankees," Muir said.

"Okay, I'll bring the gear," I said and laughed, just then my email rang. I turned away from Muir and looked at the email.

 _Dear Ms. Sawyer,_

 _Thank you for the curtsey email. I did indeed hear about Ms. Strauss and had emailed her my congratulations and sent flowers and a teddy bear. Well, I usually take all the first notes at once and have a face to face meeting with them. Since I don't travel for family reasons, I would like to extend the invitation for you to come and visit Tree Hill. I have found that it helps with the editing and writing process to get a context for my novels._

 _As for your qualifications, I am quite impressed with your resume. I've read several of the books you edited, and I'm looking forward to working with you on The Empty Man._

 _On a personal note, I noticed your last name is Sawyer. The irony is one of my characters has the last name, Sawyer. I just felt I had to point it out to you._

 _Yours truly_

 _Lucas Scott_

I shrugged and turned back to Muir. After a few bits of my food Muir looks at me, "So, who was that?" she asked.

"That was Lucas Scott responding to my email," I said.

"What did he say?" Muir asked.

"Just explaining to me how he works and complementing me on my resume. He also pointed out my last name is the same as one of his characters," I said.

"Was he implying anything?" Muir asked.

I shrugged, "Maybe he's fishing," I said.

"For what?" Muir asked.

"I've not got a clue," I said, he's looking for his lost daughter. Karen Anna Sawyer, aka Kas Scott. The story goes, the night she graduated college she left her mother's house and boarded an airplane and just dropped off the face of the Earth. Well, that is what he wrote in the first few chapters of _The Empty Man_. Well, Sawyer is a common enough last name.

We finish lunch, and I get back to reading the manuscript. Around six o'clock, Kyran stops by my desk and takes a seat in my extra chair. He looks at me and smiles.

"How's it going?" Kyran asked.

"Well, I'm about ten to twelve chapters in, I have some ideas, but nothing solid yet," I said.

Kyran nodded, "Yeah, I figured," he said, "Did I tell you Lucas Scott emailed me?"

I shook my head, "No," I said.

"He wanted to thank me for putting such a good editor on this book while Lindsay is maternity leave," Kyran said.

"Wow, I didn't expect that," I said.

Kyran stood up, and smiled at me, "Well don't stay too late," he said and left.

I felt good, and I turned back to my email. I do have to respond to most emails within twenty-four hours. So, I need to reply to Lucas' email.

 _Dear Mister Scott,_

 _Thank you for the compliments on my resume and the confidence in my ability. I've been diligently working on your manuscript. My process is I read it once without notes, then reread it and make notes and see if my thoughts changed. The version you get is my third read through. I'm known for getting through manuscripts quickly and accurately, so this first run through will be quick. I don't think we should work on this past September and should have it to Gallery by the end of that month._

 _As for coming to Tree Hill, we'll discuss that at a later date._

 _Sawyer is a common enough English last name; it means woodcutter, so someone in my family was a lumberjack at some point in distant past. As for the personal question, I like to keep things on a professional footing, as you will probably head back to Ms. Strauss for your next book._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Kari-Ann Sawyer_

 _Associate Editor._

I worked in the office at my regular time, eight o'clock. I packed up and was out on the subway and heading back to Brooklyn. After getting home, I changed and went to the gym and did my usual work out. Returning home, I showered and got into my comfortable sweats. I checked the clothes that Muir bought, and damn if she wasn't right Clothes Over Bros. Oh well, never thought I would wear that fancy stuff again.

I put some Epica on my Stereo, I would love to have vinyl, but since I'm committed to tiny house living, I must keep CDs. I'm very much an audiophile and enjoy the sounds of records, but must make sacrifices in some places and vinyl is just too much space. In my comfy chair and have a quick bite to eat, and as the beautiful voice of Simone Simons fills my ears, I will be seeing this vixen Friday, I couldn't say no to that, I started rereading the manuscript, as I listened to the beautiful lyrics of _Storm the Sorrow_.

They say life can be an endless cycle of the same thing. Imagine how many people are living the same day over and over again. I have a routine I follow, mainly because it was how I found to survive in the city. Like Wednesday, like clockwork I'm up, jogging, showering, eating breakfast, and packing my stuff, the difference is I drop my laundry off at the local fluff and fold as they open before getting my coffee at the deli.

Tonight, Muir is taking me to the Bronx and the House that George built. She has been obsessed with this baseball player since he started playing up here. He's a big guy, six feet seven inches, and can hit a ball a country mile. So, in deference to my best friend, I brought my game gear, jeans, Yankee Jersey, and my Yankee's cap. What number am I wearing you might ask? Number 8, Yogi Berra, the Yogi, love his wit and wisdom.

Booting up my computer, I start checking what I brought in from home. I'm going to have to leave my bag here tonight. There is no way I'll be able to get into Yankee Stadium with it. Which is fine I have another one at home I can bring tomorrow. Finally, the computer is up and running.

I slip my dress shoes on and open out Outlook. My off the grid habits annoy some of my co-workers since I'm hard to reach outside of work. I do text and have my cell phone, but no email, that is for work. Home is for listening to music and quiet reflection. Peace, one of the main reasons I never upgraded to a larger apartment, is something a man once told me, collect memories, not stuff. Keep my life nice and simple.

Oh okay, what does Lucas Scott want now?

 _Dear Ms. Sawyer,_

 _You're welcome. I agree we will table the discussion on your trip down here until it is the right time. As for your timetable that seems quite ambitious, I like it. As for returning to Lindsay, who knows if I write another book, we shall see._

 _Funny thing a friend of mine mentioned her daughter was working on a project with the publisher. It was something about her new campaign called Zero is Not a Size, honestly even having a daughter I don't get fashion. That is why I am divorced twice. I digress, she asked if they are treating her well, and well I wouldn't know as I am not there. If you could can you ask around for me? Thank You._

 _Yours truly_

 _Lucas Scott_

I stared at the screen and just shook my head. So, I went back to reading the manuscript. There was a lot of fluff in some chapter. It told me he initially didn't know where he was going with this and meandered his way to the plot. So, we can cut it down.

Kyran stopped by and checked on the progress. We discussed it, and I asked about Lucas' request. He laughed and said he always did stuff like that. Once, he requested Lindsay to send him all the stories for two months about the Knicks, from the tabloids. I laughed, and Kyran said he would get me the information.

It was a productive day. I got through a large chunk of my first read through. Muir might have got work done. Again, she was going to see her celebrity crush so she might be bragging to the other girls in the office. I planned to get to the game tonight with Muir and finish my first read through tomorrow. Looking over at the legal pad, I saw my first few notes that I usually make for myself; they are extensive, but well that's what they pay me for, make best sellers.

Finally, I got a moment, and the answers I wanted and I responded to Lucas' email.

 _Dear Mister Scott,_

 _I inquired about your friend's daughter, and they are doing their best to see she gets the four-star treatment. We value the campaign and what it brings to the world as a whole. They have their best people working with Ms. Haley Adams, and I doubt that what they will produce will be top notched._

 _Progress on our little project is going well. I anticipate I shall finish my first read through tomorrow. After which I shall review my notes and follow through with them on my end. My second reading will follow, and I will make actual notes. If all goes as planned, I should have the file sent to you by the end of next week, for your review. As I believe I said, I work fast and we need to get this tied up as quickly as possible._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Kari-Ann Sawyer_

 _Associate Editor._

It's knock off time. So, I shut down my laptop and secure everything that I will not have with me at the game. Taking my change of clothes, I head to the restroom to change. As I get dressed I seize the moment to look in the mirror and study myself; I'm twenty-seven now, no longer a kid and not quite an adult who has it all figured out. These last five years have seen a lot of changes in my life. There are things I do miss about my life before New York; I think that is normal and very human. I can't complain about the life I live. I have a few friends, and I keep them close, but not too close. But watching the sunset of the Jersey Palisades is not the same as sitting on the beach and watching it set over the Pacific Ocean. Again, it feels like a lifetime ago.

I still look good, and if I tried I wouldn't be alone, I could get companionship, male or female. Its New York City, there are eight million people here, but well I don't want it. That guy out on Montauk was just well a physical need, an itch scratched. Anyways the world of sexual politics is too confusing now, and it seems what I do with my body is also a political statement, why couldn't it be what it once was, people learning about themselves and sharing an intimate form of love or lust.

Looking in the mirror, Yogi never looked this good wearing this number. I laugh, mainly to myself, there is a bit of the narcissism in my nature coming out. Surprisingly I like how I look, always have, a lot of what I do is for my health, spiritual health and heart health, like a lot of Americans I have a history of heart issues and I don't want to die. Smiling, number eight never looked so good.

I pull my brown hair into a ponytail and slip it through the back of my Yankee's Baseball Cap. Today was a good day, Kari, and tonight will be fun. How often do you get to see your best friend make a fool of herself over a baseball player, who is almost a foot taller than yourself, never mind he towers over Muir?

Back to my desk to secure the last bits. I see across the office some of the people from the teenage department or is it, young adult; I don't pay attention as I'm usually too busy here. It's the typical dog and pony show, so I don't worry about it. Corbin is waiting by my desk when I get there.

"Kari, did you hear Haley Adams is up on the floor?" Corbin asked.

"Is that the lead singer of Paramore?" I asked, in jest.

He shook his head, "No, that would-be Hayley Williams. No, the model and the face of Clothes Over Bros," he said, "She's even better looking in person."

I laughed and stood in front of his arms held out wide, "Corbin, do I look like I follow fashion trends?" I asked.

Corbin laughed, "No, not at all. Muir is dragging you to the Yankee Game again so she can embarrass herself over Judge?"

I nodded, "She wouldn't have it any other way, and I think I'm bail money too if she goes too far," I said and laughed.

Corbin shook his head, "That Muir," he said and laughed. That was when the traveling road show ended up at my desk. That face, well let's say when you grew up on the west coast you knew that face, there were a few that look that way, and they were all related. Haley Adams, the first daughter of Brooke Davis and Chase Adams, graduate of UCLA, a model, and the face of her Mom's Fashion company, brunette hair and hazel eyes, she was taller than her Mom, she must have gotten her height from her Father.

"Ms. Adams, this is one of our up and coming fiction editors, Kari-Ann Sawyer," the executive said.

I smiled and said "Hi," very softly. I wanted just to secure my stuff and head out to the Stadium.

"Kas?" Haley Adams asked.

"Kas?" I asked back, and shook my head, "No, Kari-Ann, but most people call me Kari."

"Sorry, you look and sound like an old friend of mine, Kas," Haley Adams said.

I shrug, "No harm no foul, are you enjoying your experience here?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yes, it's quite fun, I can't wait for the real work to begin," Haley Adams said.

"Oh, do say?" I asked, one reason they like to bring people to me is I can be a natural charmer. That's what they tell me because I noticed they were doing it a lot, and I had to ask.

"It's a book for young girls that promotes healthy body image and fights the stereotype, my Mom has been advocating it for years, and finally we got enough to push to get it is going," Haley Adams said.

I nodded, "Wow, where was that when I was growing up," I said, "We'll have to discuss it more some other time, and good luck with your book."

"Thanks, Kari," Haley Adams said, and they lead her away.

Corbin laughed, "Kari, you can charm the horns off a bull," he said.

I shrugged, "It's a gift," I said.

He laughed, "What was this Kas stuff?" he asked.

"Corbin, I wish I knew," I said, "You know that is the second time in two days someone in this building thought I looked like someone else, that never happens."

Corbin shrugged, "Life is bigger than you, and you are not me," he said.

I laugh, "Okay Michael Stipes," I said as Muir came over. She was going full court press today; she was wearing he modified Aaron Judge T-shirt and adjusted it, as in; Muir cuts it to show more cleavage, as it also hugged her body tightly.

Once, on one of these fool errands to win the affections of one baseball player I said to Muir, don't you think he sees stuff like that all the time. Muir just shrugged. She said her boobs were better than the other women.

"So, Kari, are you ready to see my future husband?" Muir asked.

I laughed, "The groundskeeper?" I asked.

"No, that hottie Aaron Judge," Muir said.

"All rise," Corbin said, "Oh I forget your already there, Muir."

Muir looked at Corbin and held her fingers together, "This close," she said.

I shook my head, and looked at her, "Let's go," I said, and we were off.

As we left the building Muir looked at me, "I see they had you charm the pants off of Haley Adams," Muir said.

"You know that's pretty much what they do when they come to our floor," I said, not telling her my heart rate went through the roof when they were there.

"So, what were you guys talking about?" Muir asked, looking for the latest office gossip, some people never get beyond high school.

"Just what she was working on and she thought I was someone named Kas," I said, and tried to keep my voice even.

"Kas?" Muir asked, and I could see the lame hamster turning the wheel, "I remember reading she grew up with a friend's daughter, named Kas. One night Kas ran away and hadn't been seen since."

"You don't say, that's the main plot for the book I'm working on," I said.

Muir shrugged as we got to the subway. We were like and were On the Six. The 6 Line would take as far as 126th Street, and we'll change to the 4 Line which will get us to the Stadium. I love baseball, it's fun to watch, especially in person, and with a friend like Muir we always seemed to have great seats, and she loved to flirt with the players. It was in the grand scheme of things an alright game, nothing too remarkable about it, but Muir entirely made a fool of herself over Mister Judge. It was okay, she had fun, and I had fun, and we didn't get arrested. We hopped the 4 Line back, Muir lives in Manhattan, and she's been trying to get me to move there, but as I tell her, I like my broom closet in Brooklyn. Keeps me real.

It was after midnight by the time I get home. I take a quick hot shower and off to bed. Muir is crazy, and I love that about her, but this past week she's been off the wall. So off to sleep and dreamland.

Next morning, repeat the previous morning, jogging, shower, breakfast, and coffee, hope the train and into Manhattan. Different bag today, this one is bigger since I should bring home yesterday's bag. Now back to the office. In the office I get right to work, I missed out on a lot of good working hours while I was keeping Muirgen Harper out of jail.

It was about ten o'clock when I finished my first read through _The Empty Man_. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. So, I went for coffee and came back, to review my notes. There were strong bones to the story, maybe some cutting of fluff and of course must change the tone of the ending of the story. If this is the ending he wrote; this is not the ending, this is not how a Lucas Scott novel should end.

Kyran came over before eleven and looked at me reviewing my notes. "So, tell me another miracle, and you finished your first read through," he said.

I nodded and sighed, "Yes, I did," I said, and put my legal pad down.

"Well?" Kyran asked.

"Did Lindsay have issues with the tone of some of his books?" I asked.

"Kari, what are you getting at?" Kyran asked.

"The last few chapters got very bitter; the book ended well the best I can say it would be a turn-off. Even _Sins of a Father_ wasn't that bitter, it was introspective, sad, but not bitter," I said.

Kyran hummed, and looked at me, "Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded, "Very sure, we can't sell that. The narrative works very well, it ties in the story, but maybe soften the tone, bring it to sadder, or regretful and away from bitter," I said.

Kyran nodded, "What chapters?" he asked. When I told him, he took the manuscript and my notes and went to his office and closed the door. I kept working on the second read through on the digital copy. Just before lunch Kyran came back and returned everything.

"Kari, you're right, we need a complete re-write of the tone of the ending," he said, and smiled, "You never stop amazing me, I knew you could do this."

I sighed, "Not even done yet," I said.

"Still doing the second read?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'll have to transpose my notes onto the written copy," I said.

"When do you expect to have the first set ready to go to him?" Kyran asked, it is a business after all, and we need to get this done.

"Next Friday, I will deliver you my digital with my comments and notes for your review," I said confidently.

"Going to make sure Muir will keep you out of trouble?" Kyran asked.

"Kyran, I told Muir tomorrow night is the last night she can distract me, anyways I want to see the concert."

Kyran laughed and went away. I had my lunch and kept at my work. Tonight will be a weird night. I will bring tons of crap home and leave my laptop at work again. There is nothing wrong with that; I enjoy the silence. So as the hour reaches eight, I pack up, and I'm gone.

The train into Brooklyn was well the train into Brooklyn. Again, routine, drop my stuff off at home, work out and come home for a shower, my sweats, and dinner. This weekend I should pick up my laundry and go food shopping, something I do enjoy. From there just work on this novel.

My second read through makes me feel worse about it. Some areas just seem to be a hot mess. There had to be something in his personal life that was causing him to write so badly, maybe that is too harsh. You must be yourself Kari-Ann and must call it as you see it. Kyran gave you this to prove yourself, and you've not changed how you work. Lucas Scott deserves your best, and well so does his audience.

One of my favorite tracks from Epica comes on my stereo, _Sancta Terra_. Yeah, it works right now. As Simone sings, _And You Will Not Find Me_ , the opening lyric for the chorus it hits home. My emotions are getting too tangled up. I put down the manuscript and walk over to the mirror. I need to do my roots; my dishwater blonde hair is starting to show too much, I must get that taken care of this weekend.

Why do I hide? Isn't that the question? Yes, much of my off the grid existence is I am hiding. No, I'm not a criminal, I'm on the run, and no it's not from a husband. I had a somewhat abusive upbringing, more emotional and mental. I was a teenager when a friend of the family sexually abused me. It was not until I was in college that most of this comes to me, as I refused to process it. That was why I fled, and settled here. No web presence, is part of me hiding, as is dying my hair. New York City is one of the few places you can hide in plain sight, and that was why I chose to land here five years ago. Also, why I prefer not to leave here. Damn it! I'm going to have to go to Tree Hill, North fucking Carolina; it's the only way to get this book fixed.

Fridays are casual in my office, so I just bring what I need to work and a change of shirt. I have a small backpack which they allow into the Playstation Theater so that I can bring my notes home. Also, I'm getting some merch at the show. Got to love being so close to it all. With a little money time and a passport, I can be anywhere in the world in a few hours out of the airports here.

Five o'clock rolls around, and I head to the bathroom to change my shirt. It's time to be sarcastic, again when am I not usually. I change into a gray t-shirt that has a sign like a for sale sign and says, "Nope Not Today." I chose to wear my hair up tonight and waited for Muir. She went all out today, and we went out for a bit.

Getting into the theater was not as easy as you would think, with the security. We got some drinks and were off. The Opening act was excellent, and so was the follow-up. But _Lacuna Coil_ rocked it out; they brought out Simone Simons from _Epica_ when they did _Heaven's a Lie_. Later they had a drum malfunction, and Christian Scabbia, the female lead vocalist of Lacuna Coil, started singing _Highway to Hell_ acapella with the audience singing the chorus, it was awesome. Finally, _Epica_ took the stage, and I was in my element. I've been listening to their albums all week as I worked on this new manuscript. They blew the roof off the house, and for _Storm the Sorrow_ , they brought Christian out to sing with Simone. For the encore, they opened with _Sancta Terra,_ and of course, I had to get in on the ending, they set up for the Wall of Death, Muir looks at me like I'm nuts. As they started to play _Consign to Oblivion (A New Age Dawns, Part III),_ I moshed with my fellow fans. I'm nothing but a big smile as I leave the theater with Muir.

"You had fun," Muir said to me as we head to the subway.

"Always," I said.

"You are, wow, recently you've come out of your shell more than normal, Crazy Girl," Muir said.

"Have to get me in the right mood," I said, and looked over the skyline, "Anyways, are you coming over tomorrow?"

Muir laughed, "You've been banging away at the manuscript for the week, and I see by the look in your eyes, you're not happy with it. I guess I'll leave you to it this weekend, and my Daddy wants me out on the island tomorrow," she said.

I laughed, "Okay, have fun," I said as I got to my subway stop and descended to the platform.

Arriving home, I showered and went to bed. The weekend went by as I ran my errands, including getting my hair done, and listened to my new CDs as I worked on this mess of a manuscript. I went out a few times, once because I was craving falafel on a pita. But most of the weekend was spent working. I even did a third read through before transposing my notes onto the hard copy. Nothing, there was nothing that changed how I thought of the manuscript.

Monday morning, I was at work bright and early. With my laptop fired up and the largest Yeti Tumbler, I own of coffee, I started to my third formal read, in this case, it was the fourth read through. It took me a few hours to get most of it transposed, and I headed off to get some lunch nearby. Muir joined me as we got something local.

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked.

"The tone, the work, it's just disjointed, I emailed Lindsay and asked if this was typical and to her credit, with the little one keeping her busy, she answered and said no," I said and picked at my food.

"Not feeling the manuscript?" Muir asked.

"It's got good bones, just needs a lot of work and they want it for the holidays," I said and poked at the food.

"Please, Kari, its dead stop stabbing it," Muir said.

"Just distracted," I said and went to pick at the food.

When we got back to the office, and I went back to work. I focused, and put in my earbuds and started listening to some music while I power through the final attempt to make the notes to this manuscript. When I finished, I grabbed everything up and walked over to Kyran's office. I knocked on the door jam, and he let me in.

"I don't like that look, Kari," Kyran said.

"Kyran, there are great bones on this story," I said and shook my head and sighed.

"Was he phoning it in?" Kyran asked.

"Not sure, I even emailed Lindsay and asked about his usual stuff, and she said send me a few pages so that she could check, and I did. She agreed he's not focused. Please, Kyran, review this and tell me I'm nuts," I said and turned over the stuff.

He nodded, "Kari, go get some coffee, and I'll take a look," he said.

I went to the kitchenette and started a cup of coffee. Everyone was staying away from me; the word had gotten around I was working on the new Lucas Scott, and well it wasn't working out so well. So, I was alone. About a half hour later Kyran got me, and we went back into the office.

"Kari, I wish I could say you were too join and were jumping to conclusions, but you're one hundred percent right, I even ran it across the higher-ups, and they agreed. I called Lindsay, and she reinforced what you said. Now the downside they placed all their eggs in this book for the holidays, that is not only the hard print but the digital too. This book was going to get the full court press," Kyran said.

I sighed, "So, are we flying him here or am I going to Tree Hill?" I asked.

Kyran nodded, "I know you hate to travel, but this is bad," he said, "We're talking about if it's not fixable scrapping the book and that would be bad."

I nodded, "I'll email Lucas the file and get my arrangements settled," I said.

"Kari, you've always been a Trooper," Kyran said.

"Thanks, but I feel like The Trooper from the Iron Maiden song," I said.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Kyran asked.

I shrugged, "I guess not, I'm alive, upright and on the right side of the lawn."

Kyran laughed, and I went back to my desk. Making a couple of quick calls, I talked with the travel office. I emailed my information and preferences for travel, and the fact I did have a driver's licenses, so I didn't need a driver. That was when I finally got an email out to Lucas.

 _Dear Mister Scott,_

 _Please find attached your manuscript with my comments and notes. We have a lot of work to do, and I will be heading down to Tree Hill to discuss these notes and work on this novel. The Publisher believes in this story, and we want to get The Empty Man to press. Attached also is my travel arrangements, and my contact information. I will contact you when I get settled in Wilmington._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Kari-Ann Sawyer_

 _Associate Editor._

The day ended, and I ended up heading home. I left early, for me, which means on time. There was a crowd on the subway at this time of day; I'm not used to crowds on the subway. Going to the gym, I worked hard, too much stress to get out of the body. Pain is weakness leaving the body, was an old statement, and well that's what I needed.

Getting home, I found Muir waiting for me. She followed me into my apartment and stood around while I packed.

"So, you're going on this business trip?" Muir asked, "Kari-Ann Sawyer is leaving The City and The State, what is the world coming too?"

"I don't want to do it, Muir," I said and kept packing, "I'd rather be tagging along with you to Yankee Games so you can try and get Judge's attention."

Muir laughed, "Yeah, my future Baby Daddy," she said.

"Downgrading him?" I asked, and started going through clothes. Muir walked over and slipped out some of the clothes she bought me for our trip to Montauk and put them in my pile.

"No, that is the first step," Muir said.

"This is a business trip," I said, looking at the swimsuits and beach clothes.

"It's also a beach area, live a little Kari-Ann," Muri said.

"I don't want to stay there longer then I have too," I said.

Muir shrugged, but I still packed the clothes she put in the pile. Why not, it's a college town, Wilmington so that I can have some fun. After I finished packing Muir left, and I walked over to my stereo. I pulled out my five or six favorite CDs and put them in my bag. I have a working Discman so don't be too shocked, as I packed that. I slipped into the Stereo a CD, _Rise Above: 24 Black Flag Songs to Benefit the West Memphis Three._ Great album and it helped the legal fund for those three unfortunate souls, convicted because of who they were and tried to be.

My cell phone rang. I picked it up and looked at the number; I didn't know who it was.

"Hello," I said.

"Is this Kari-Ann Sawyer?" the male voice said on the other side, I knew the voice.

"Yes, whom may I say is calling?" I asked.

"This is Lucas Scott, I read your notes and reviewed them," he said.

Nervous now, "And Mister Scott?" I asked.

"Lucas, please call me Lucas," he said.

"Okay, Lucas," I said, "do you have any issues with what I wrote?"

"No, I don't. Ms. Sawyer, you were dead on about everything. It made me look over the work, and I can't wait to meet you and go over every point and fix this work. I think this will be a very constructive working relationship," he said.

"I hope so too, Lucas," I said.

"Is that Rise Above benefit CD you're listening too?" he asked.

"Yes, it is, sharp ear," I said.

"I had a friend that loved punk music," he said, mournfully, "Anyways, call me when you're in town."

"I will," I said, and we disconnected. I sighed and felt my heart slowly return to its regular rate. Yes, I was very nervous and scared, and that was just over the phone. Never mind going down there, I've never been that exposed in five years.

I turned up my music and let the words of Black Flag fill my ears. I thought about Henry Rollins again. I enjoyed the loneliness out here, and the silence and peace. Henry did say something about this, and its beauty, " _Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better._ "


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3** **Bridge over Troubled Water**

The next morning my phone rang and woke me up. It was way too early, but I needed to be up for my ride to the airport. So, a quick shower to get the cobwebs out of my brain, and I dressed for my air flight to Wilmington North Carolina. Being a naturally neat person, I pack up my place and make it look like I would be there again tonight. Double checking my bags, I'm sitting in my comfy chair I put in my earbuds, and listen to _Lacuna Coil_ and the song _Trip the Darkness_. I love the sound of Cristina's voice, and the song spills over me. This trip is absolute madness, I hate going on business trips, and god knows when this one will end. I must right the ship.

Last night before I went to bed, I had a long conversation with Lindsay about what to expect when I get down there. She told me, expect to be invited to meet him at his Mother's Café, named Karen's Café. Expect to be talked to death about basketball; there are family gatherings and a lot of testosterone. The people are friendly, and the food will be good. Lucas is always trying to interview you. The most significant warning was to watch out for Raegan Scott, Lucas' twenty-two-year-old daughter, she is extremely protective and has a sardonic wit.

My phone rang, and I picked it up. It was my Lyft Driver, and I said I'll be down in a minute. I grab my bags and look once more over my apartment and head downstairs. Carrying my two bags I didn't feel the need to pack heavy. They were putting me up in an extended stay hotel, and I do know how to cook and do laundry. So, I'm not worried, what could go wrong.

I catch the first American Eagle flight out of LaGuardia Airport for Wilmington International. Not one for much sleep, the nightmares kept me awake for years. Abuse will do that to you, some say I have PTSD, others think I need to toughen up. Muir believes I need to drink more. The vocals of Henry Rollins keep me company on the way down.

If you haven't figured it out by now, Henry Rollins is my spirit animal. Punk rock and brains, sardonic wit and probably one of the funniest people I've ever seen live. He knows everyone, the stories are great, that was when American Punk was real. Something is missing in the music world today, and well only if Henry could find his lyrics and come back. Anyways, maybe I'd listen to some of his spoken word stuff on the way down, but right now the music of the Rollins Band was enough to get me through the flight.

Now I've traveled enough to be a hardened veteran of the airports. My passport, which I don't use anymore has stamps from many ports of entry. I've been to England, France, Italy, Germany, Japan, Ireland, and even some of the wall places like Iceland and Norway. That was one benefit of my youth was I traveled a lot. Maybe that's why I don't like settling; again my family was so distant there was no ground to settle in.

So, I get my rental and start heading out to where the publisher put me up. The car is running well, and it's been years since I drove. Speed is life, and I gun the engine and feel the power under my fingertips until I see the flashing lights in the review mirror. Damn it, and I pull over and see the kind Police Office come up.

"License and Registration, please," he commanded. I handed over the rental paperwork and my New York State Driver's License. He looks it over and walks back to the car. Finally, he comes back to the car. "Ma'am, what is your name?" he asked.

"Karen," I said, having to remember to use my name on the license and not my professional name. I never liked my name, so when I got the chance I rift on it, and that is where Kari-Ann comes from.

"It says here you're blonde," he said.

"I dye my hair," I said.

He nodded, "Well do you know how fast you were going?" he asked.

"Sixty?" I asked.

"Eighty," he said, "In a sixty-five, well since you're from out of state, I'm just going to issue you a ticket."

"Thank you, Officer," I said.

"Smith, Nathan Smith," he said and smiled, "You kind of look like my ex-girlfriend."

"Well I'm not from around here," I said.

"Well don't worry about it," Officer Nathan Smith said and walked away. I scratched my head and started up again, making sure to keep the speed to a reasonable bending of the rules. Once I get to the hotel, I write a check to pay the fine and ask for the nearest post office. After dropping the fine in the mailbox, I got on my little pre-paid and called in.

"Kyran Burns," echoed in my ear.

"Kyran, its Kari, I'm in Wilmington and checked in. I'll call Lucas Scott soon to arrange for our first meeting," I said.

"Good, that's great to hear Kari. I don't need to tell you how important and how grateful the bosses are you are getting this ship righted," Kyran said.

"Remember when it comes raise time," I said and laughed.

Kyran laughed, "Well off you go," he said, and we disconnected.

"Excuse me, Miss, I heard you mention Lucas Scott," A Tall Black Man with a shaved head said.

I nodded, looking him over, "Yes, I did say that," I said casually.

"That's my Dog, Luke Scott," he said, with a big infectious smile, "You're not one of those book groupies?"

I shook his head, "No, I'm his editor," I said.

"You're not Lindsay," he said.

"No," I said and reached into my bag and pulled out a card, "I'm Kari-Ann Sawyer. Lindsay was unable to work on his book."

He nodded and read the card, "Sawyer, you say, interesting, skinny girl," he said, his voice more measured and guarded. His eyes were scanning me and tracking my movements.

"So, does everyone know Lucas Scott down here?" I asked.

"Know of him yes, everyone does. Know him, only a select few," he said, and looked around, "He's not been the same for a while Skinny Girl."

I nodded, "Mister…"

"Skills, Skills Taylor," he said with a genuine smile.

"Mister Taylor, why do you call me Skinny Girl?" I asked.

"Aren't you related to Peyton Sawyer?" he asked.

"No," I said, "Sawyer is as common as Taylor or Smith."

"Well you could have fooled me, Kari-Ann Sawyer, you look so much like her," he said.

I shrug, "No, I'm not from around here," I said, "Well, I do have to get settled in."

I got into the rental care and controlled my breath. That was strange and unsettling; I'm already not enjoying my time down here. I miss having cars with CD players, not having a computer I don't do the digital music thing. So, I have to listen to the radio. As I'm driving around, I hear an old emo band come on the radio. _Dashboard Confessional_. The irony, well I'm not into emo, but the song does connect. _The Sharpe Hint of New Tears_ that is the song, off the first album, and the first line hits home, _On the way home, this car hears my confessions_.

That is when I stop in some park by the river. Getting out of the car, I walk over to the basketball court. Standing at center court, I look around and see downtown Tree Hill across the river. The air is ripe with the scent of the Cape Fear River. I close my eyes and remember, the similar smell and the early morning dawn when two men yelled at me. Enough Kari-Ann doesn't drift too far away.

I open my eyes and look over to see a tall man standing there with messy blonde hair and about my age. He had some workouts on and gave me a look.

"Hello," he said, in a carefully studied voice, that was even.

"Hello," I said, and glad that I had my hair in a ponytail, Yankee's Baseball Cap on, and sunglasses covering my eyes. I knew who he was, he plays for the Denver Nuggets, but his contract is over, and he's waiting out until the free agency period starts. His name is James Lucas Scott; he is Lucas Scott's nephew.

"Enjoying the view?" he asked, with a slight smile.

I nodded, "Yes, it's nice this time of day," I said, awkwardly.

"That's why I come out here to shoot for the beauty in the morning," he said, and looked me over and gave a slight grin, "Jamie Scott," he said.

"Kari-Ann," I said.

"Kari-Ann?" he asked, "Like that actress in all those Marvel Netflix series?" he asked, being such a guy.

I laughed, "You mean Carrie-Anne Moss?" I asked.

"Yeah, her," Jamie said.

"Not quite, but we're both named after the same song, by The Hollies," I said.

He chuckled, "Okay, so what other than the view brings you down to this old worn out park?" Jamie asked.

"I was driving by on my way to my hotel and saw it. It was a great view, and I wished I brought my camera," I said.

Jamie nodded, "My Aunt Quinn comes here to take pictures every so often, they are some of the best nature photos of hers," Jamie said.

I laughed, "So, stupid question, are you signing with the Knicks?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"Sorry my best friend Muirgen is a big Knicks fan and if she found out I met you and didn't ask she would kill me," I said and laughed.

He laughed, "Everyone I meet asks me who I would want to sign with, mostly because they follow the team, but never because their best friend would kill them," he said.

"That's Muir for you, she loves her Knicks," I said and smiled. He had a natural way about him, and it was nice to talk to him. I was not attracted to him, sexually, no, I will have no entanglements down here. I want to get down here and do my job and fix this book. I'm that bridge over troubled waters. If Jamie Scott did come to New York, I think Muir would forget Aaron Judge and be all over him, and they might be right for each other.

"I bet," he said.

"Well Jamie Scott, I do have to go," I said and started to walk away.

"Kas?" he asked.

I stopped and looked at him, "What did you call me?" I asked.

"Kas, isn't that your name?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No, not at all; my name is Kari-Ann, not Kas, Kassandra or any form of the name that starts K, A, S," I said.

Jamie nodded, "Sorry, Kari-Ann, you just reminded me of someone," he said.

"Okay, I'll bite, who do I remind you of?" I asked.

"My cousin," he said, "Kas, she ran away about five years ago and completely disappeared. My family hasn't been right since. She came here once, to this court and that was where I first met her. She came upon this ground, this town, like a summer hurricane and broke everyone out of their stupor. But like that bright flame, she was here for a moment and then that moment was gone."

I nodded, "That was very poetic," I said.

Jamie shrugged, "My Mom was a songwriter," he said.

I smiled, "You're a nice guy Jamie Scott, I hope I run into you again, maybe you can tell me more about your poetic side," I said and walked away. No, he doesn't have a chance in hell, but he can be a good friend. Yes, I just friend zoned him.

I check my watch and see its almost check in time. So, I drive over to my hotel and check-in. Getting my suite, they booked me a one bedroom. Looking around the room, I noticed the freaking bedroom is bigger than my apartment, what am I going to do with all this room? Well, this is my base of operations, and I start setting up for this long hall. The laptop is placed on the desk and powered up.

I bring my clothes into the massive bedroom and unpack. Two televisions, I don't have a TV, never mind what am I going to do with two? This room is way too much for me and my work habits.

The computer is up, and I go through the process of logging in and getting my work email. For the next half-hour, I go through the emails and answer the emails that I need to respond. After that, I set up my Discman and start up a new CD. Damn if I had this much room I could start getting the vinyl and that sound system I want. Yes, but it would be extremely expensive in New York City, and you don't want to live outside the city, they will find you. Kari-Ann you are vulnerable now since you are out of that city of eight million human shields. Enough, need to work.

The vocals from my portable speakers fill the suite. It centers me as I start reviewing my notes and changes I want to make. There is some reason; I have the feeling that he will fight me on every point. After having everything reviewed, in my overachiever self-needed, maybe I have OCD, I picked up my dumb phone and dialed Lucas Scott's phone number. Part of me prayed he would not pick up, but he did on the third ring.

"Hello Lucas Scott's phone," the Voice froze me cold. I knew that voice, and surprisingly it was happy. Shaking out of it, I put that fake smile on my face.

"Hello, can I speak to Lucas Scott, this is Kari-Ann Sawyer from the publisher," I said, in the most business-like tone I could muster up.

"Oh, my long-lost cousin," she said on the other end.

"What?" I asked.

"Sorry hold on," she said and laughed, "Lucas, your new work wife is on the phone." I waited a minute and heard the phone handed off, "Thanks, Peyton," his voice said, and I could hear the phone come up to his ear, "Hello Kari, did you make it here safe?"

"Yes, I did Lucas," I said, "Who was that?"

"That was just my girlfriend Peyton," he said, "Don't worry she only bites me…. ouch! I was kidding. Anyways Kari, can you meet me at Karen's Café around six o'clock?"

I nodded and looked at the phone, Lindsay called it. "Sure, I will see you there and be prepared to work," I said.

"Eat also," he said.

"Mister Scott, I would like to keep this professional, and I want to get this done as soon as possible," I said.

"As do I, but I can give some form of hospitality," he said.

"Okay, you can eat," I said, and we hung up. Interesting if Lucas girlfriend is Peyton, why was the book so disjointed. Anyways, let's get out in the sun, there is nothing to work on until I meet with Lucas.

Not planning on coming back until after my meeting I grab my stuff and collect it together. I changed to more business appropriate attire and brushed out my hair. Still, I think I rock the brown hair very well; it fits me better than the dishwater blonde hair. Smiling, I take my "good" sunglasses and my briefcase and head out.

Driving around, I see the sights and hear the sounds of the various places in this small town known as Tree Hill. There isn't much around here, expect the few business downtown and the high school, so I head back out to the park. The fog has burned off, and the air was clean and crisp. I could feel the humidity start to build up as I walked over to the basketball court again.

Strangely a man was standing there looking over the court. He was an older man, and a bit gray, but he was the man I saw pictures of in my research. Nathan Scott, the basketball player, he stopped playing professional basketball after only half a season because his back gave out. He never seemed right since they said, the classic broken man.

I walked over to him. He was standing center court and looked at the hoop. His hands shook as it seemed he remembered everything in his life.

"I heard you were back in town," Nathan said.

"You heard?" I asked.

"Yes, news travels fast in a small town, Kari-Ann," Nathan said.

I nodded, "Not my choice to be here, but I need to be here," I said.

"Is the book that bad?" he asked and clinched his fists.

"Yes, it is," I said.

Nathan sighed, "You're a great editor, you helped me with my book," he said. Nathan Scott wrote an autobiography that focused on his life in basketball and being the husband of a rock star. It was one of my first editing jobs; this was before Kyran pouched me for fiction. Nathan and I communicated over emails, and we formed a good relationship. We met only twice before, once when he came to the Publisher in New York and once when I came here. It was one of the few times I left New York City since moving there. Nathan and I worked on the book together down here only a few hours in my hotel room, and he never introduced me to the family. Sadly, Nathan's book wasn't a success, but it sits on my vanity shelf because it was my first.

"Thank you," I said.

"I never expected you to replace Lindsay," Nathan said.

I shrugged, "Neither did I, my boss wanted to give me a shot," I said.

"Just be careful, Lucas is happy, but he still jumps at the shadows looking for Kas," Nathan said.

"Even though he has Raegan, and seems like Peyton back," I said.

Nathan nodded, "It's the missing piece, that's why he named the book what he did," Nathan said.

I nodded, "Thanks, Nathan, and tell Haley hi," I said and started to walk away.

"Karen," Nathan said, using for the first time my full and real first name, as he would do when he wanted to get the point across to me. Nathan Scott is not a genius, but he was no fool, "Just be careful, and you know we will invite you to family dinner."

I nodded, "I know, I was warned," I said.

"You're not Lindsay though, and there will be questions," Nathan said.

I shake my head, "If there are, I will tell them the truth," I said.

"What is the truth?" Nathan asked.

"It's what we believe it is, Nathan," I said, "I'm Kari-Ann Sawyer, and I'm a book editor here to fix Lucas Scott's book."

"Is your hearing still extra good?" Nathan asked.

"How do you think I survive," I said and walked away, and since I was wearing heels, I would fall into the toe-heel step that I was taught to walk runways. A habit I could never break, and something that in the right company will raise questions. But people say you can't run away from your past. Maybe it's true; maybe you can only hide from it for a short while. I try to live my life by my Spirit Animal Henry Rollins says about the past, " _Think about it: No matter who you are, the past plays a large part in your life. I am all about living in the present as best as I_ _can. Try as I might, there is only so much I am able to achieve on this front_."

I walked away and came to the rental car and drove off. There were a million stories in any town, and Tree Hill is no different. It's true I've been here before, to Tree Hill, back when I young now I'm more experienced, older and wiser. Working on the book _Always and Forever_ , was a learning experience, for me. I liked the story, and well I hoped it would have done better. That's life may be a few years later it would have done better, but they were fading from the culture, and there was no real scandal in their past. Nathan and Haley Scott were well everyone else, except for getting married at sixteen years old. Now if someone wrote Lucas Scott's bio that would probably be a best seller, only because he's lived a much more exciting life, and choosing to live here in North Carolina where they protected as opposed to New York City, for example, made his skeletons stay in the closet.

Finally, I came to the Riverwalk, which looked upon the river and the Park. Standing there, I took in the scene of the river. I felt the air blow through my hair and just felt it. This feeling is great I missed the openness of the sea and the less crowded aspects of the world. I needed my life in New York City, me Muir, and Rodney. Rodney, you might ask, my Norfolk Pine Tree, it looked like a Rodney, so I called it Rodney. Rodney likes music too, including my choices of heavy music.

Checking my watch, I turned and looked at the people walking by. I saw someone walking over to me. I know who she was, and boy has she grown up in the last few years. Kaylee, she probably has graduated college now, and god knows what she was doing. Younger than Jamie she was twenty-three years old, and her brownish-blonde hair was also flowing in the wind.

"Kari-Ann, Jamie told me you were in town again," Kaylee said and hugged me. Eventually, we broke it off and turned towards the river.

"Yes, I'm editing your Uncle's new novel," I said.

"The compilation book," Kaylee said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Kaylee asked, "That thing, that damn book was written over the last five years, mostly on the road," she said.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

Kaylee shrugged, "Well Uncle Lucas would talk about the concept and would ask us about somethings, his mood was wall over the place at the time. It stabilized when Peyton moved back here a few years ago," she said.

I nodded, "So that would explain the uneven tone of the novel," I said.

Kaylee nodded, "So how have you been?" she asked, Kaylee and I got close to the editing process on her parent's book. She was bright and asked about the publishing industry.

"Good, it's been one hell of a ride. I'm doing well, and your Uncle's Book is my big break," I said.

"So, you're doing the typical meeting that he would do with Lindsay?" Kaylee asked.

I nodded, "Six o'clock at Karen's Café," I said.

"Yeah, and we're getting together for dinner at the Café at Seven O'clock," Kaylee said.

"I see," I said.

Kaylee nodded, "You know I'm Uncle Lucas' assistant now," she said.

"I figured it would be Raegan," I said.

Kaylee shook her head, "Raegan, well she's Raegan, and she has her plans," she said.

"From the book that sounds like Lucas' daughter," I said.

"Also, be aware he and Peyton are sort of obsessed with finding Kas," Kaylee said, "I think that's why he did the book, so he could go on tour and have the publisher pay for his travel to find Kas."

I nodded, "Noted," I said.

"So how long are you staying?" Kaylee asked.

"As long as it takes to fix the book. The publisher wants it for the holiday season which means online and in stores December First. Pre-orders probably October the latest," I said, resigned to staying down here.

"That's longer then when you stayed for my parent's book," Kaylee said.

"That book had fewer problems. So, when did Lucas start seeing Peyton?" I asked.

"Oh boy! That drama, when you have one ex-wife that is local. She is also one of your baby mommas, and you start dating your other baby momma," Kaylee said and laughed, "About eighteen months, she moved back about two and half years ago, because Larry was sick and now he's in a hospice."

I nodded, and looked over the river, "Well I might see you at the café tonight, if I stay," I said, "I do have some shopping to do."

Kaylee nodded, "I understand, Kari-Ann, just remembers we've kept your secret for three years now," she said.

I nodded, "Thank you," I said and walked away. Kaylee, well she wasn't warning me, per say, she was but not in the way of blackmail. She was letting me know that any secrets I told them, we secure. They wouldn't share them, even if and when it would cause them problems. One thing I noticed was that no one mentioned Lucas' Mom, Karen. That sucks about Larry Sawyer though; hospice is not good.

I got to my rental and drove off. There is work to do, and I'm not doing. Well, can't do any of it, because I've not met with Lucas. So, Kaylee is Lucas' assistant now, as I told her you would expect it to be Raegan. The red-headed Scott was very independent of what Lindsay told me, and she hated her mother, the ex-Rachel Scott.

My mind wonders as I drive. Five years ago, the center of the abandoned basketball court. I was sitting there crying and totally broke. The person that found me was the one I expected the least. It was a fiery redhead with a fuck the world attitude. Well, Kari-Ann you need not think of that day that moment the moment that everything changed. My spirit animal Henry Rollins said something about change, in a different context, but it was got me interested in him, " _Change is hard, but change is good._ "

I found myself in the only hospice in Tree Hill. Parking the car, I gripped the steering wheel and looked at the front door. After a few deep breaths, I center myself and get out of the car. Walking towards the front door, I look around and put on my sunglasses. I don't want anyone to notice me as I come to the front door. I get to the front desk and look at the person behind it.

"May I help you?" the Desk Person asked.

"I'm here to see Larry Sawyer," I said.

"He's room A322," The Desk Person said and pointed me in the general direction. I wander down the hallway and find the room. Entering, I see Larry in the hospital bed, a shadow of himself. It was cancer, no doubt, he lost most of his body mass to the vile disease. He has IVs in, and he had his eyes closed. I walked over and took his hand in mine. I removed my sunglasses and put them on the top of my head.

His eyes opened, and he looked up at me. His eyes were questioning for a moment then the mind kicked in and the look of understanding filled them. He knew, and he understood, I patted his hand with my other hand. This person was the shell of a man who had made his living on the sea. Now his body was failing him. His mouth curled up slightly in the corners; he tried to squeeze my hand tighter to not let go. I saw tears well up into his eyes. I stayed there for two hours, but it seemed like more, and we never said anything. Later I would find out the cancer had taken his speech and most of his mental facilities; he was in the final stages of his life.

I didn't go shopping that afternoon. Instead, I drove to downtown Tree Hill and parked my rental. Walking down the street, I came to the place I was meeting Lucas Scott. Karen's Café, it seemed to be a place where many important things happened in the younger years of Lucas Scott's life. It was a nice and warm feeling place. This Café was a place where you came in and had coffee and stayed because you felt you were in the home of a close friend.

Behind the counter was a tall dirty blonde hair woman stood behind the counter. She was in her late twenties and seemed like she was bored with it being quiet, it was past lunch and wasn't dinner time yet. I removed my sunglasses and looked at her; she had to be Lucas' sister Lilly. She looked just like that picture of Raegan Scott, I saw back in New York. I removed my sunglasses and put on my normal glasses.

"Welcome to Karen's Café, please take a seat anywhere," she said.

I nodded and walked over to a booth. There were pictures on the wall. Looking them over, they were pictures of people that were from Tree Hill or of the Scott Family. There was one that drew my eye was a small picture, maybe no bigger than a five by seven. It was three young woman who looked very much alike. One was a redhead, the other two were blonde, one darker than the other. They were dressed the same and were leaning together smiling. A perfect selfie.

"That was one of Karen's favorite pictures of all the ones in this place," a woman's voice said. I turned and looked up at her.

"Really?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, she called it her three girls, it's he daughter and her two granddaughters," she said, and pointed her pencil, "I'm the one with the dark blonde hair."

"Nice," I said.

"Lilly Scott," she said, and smiled, "How can I help you?"

"Kari-Ann," I said, "I'll have some coffee."

Lilly nodded, "Okay, do you want a menu?" she asked.

I shook my head, "No thank you," I said.

She walked away and came back with a ceramic mug and placed it down.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome," Lilly said, "Mind if I join you, I'm kind of bored?"

"Go ahead," I said.

Lilly sat across the booth from me. She looked at the picture, "That picture, I believe was taken almost six years ago. Hard to believe," Lilly said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was one of the last days both my nieces were together," Lilly said. "They are half-sisters, Kas, the older one was leaving to go back to California, and the redhead, is Raegan she was about to start her senior year of high school," Lilly shook her head. "The next summer, we thought Kas would come and visit us, she really loved it here, but she packed a bag in the middle of the night she left, just ran away. Cleaned out her bank accounts and shut down all her social media."

I nodded, "That's sad," I said.

Lilly nodded, "Yeah, the reason we took the picture was we noticed how much we looked alike. One morning Kas crashed over in my house, and she got up early, and that morning Karen got Kas confused for me," Lilly said, smiling a sad smile of remembrance.

"I keep hearing about this Kas?" I asked, "Who is Kas?"

Lilly nodded, "Karen Anna Sawyer, my brother Lucas' oldest daughter, he had her with his high school sweetheart. Her mom raised her in California, and well she was such a California girl, loved the beach and to surf. She was also a good friend," Lilly said.

"So, you're Lilly, and Kas is Karen, so who was the Café named after?" I asked.

"Her mom named Kas after my Mom, Karen Roe," Lilly said.

I nodded, "Awe," I said, "So where is Karen?"

Lilly shrugged, "Retired and traveling with my Step-Dad right now; she'll be back by Fourth of July," she said.

I nodded, and we talked for what seemed like hours, and about half a dozen cups of coffee. That was when I checked my watch and saw it was almost time to meet Lucas. Before I could explain why I was here the door opened, and I turned to see the author I flew down to get back on track. He smiled as I saw out of the corner of my eye as Lilly slipped out of the booth.

"Lucas," Lilly said, "you're early."

Lucas laughed, "I'm here to meet someone," he said.

"Does Peyton know this or are you guys in an open relationship?" Lilly said laughing.

"No, not at all, my new editor," he said.

Lilly nodded, "Well as you can see you can sit anywhere," Lilly said.

"Thanks," he said and picked out a booth.

I waited a few minutes finished my coffee, and got up and walked over towards the booth. Lucas was looking out the window. He was probably looking for me and apparently checked my Linkedin Profile. I have a basic picture, which doesn't look too much like me. It is about as much web penance I have.

"Lucas Scott?" I asked.

He looked up and smiled, "Yes," he said.

"I'm Kari-Ann Sawyer," I said, "Shall we get to work."

"Yes please," he said and signaled me to sit down.

I put down my briefcase and slid into the seat across from him. He studied me as if he was looking for something or someone. I shrugged, and opened my briefcase and pulled out my notepad.

"Have you had time to read my notes and comments?" I asked.

Lucas nodded, "Yes, I have. I've considered most of them valid. Especially the uneven tone. I had someone re-read it, and they agreed. The one thing I don't want to cut is the description of some of the issues involving Kas," Lucas said.

I nodded, "I just feel that it's kind of repetitive. Like you or beating the reader over the head with those issues. I agree they are important in the narrative, but this might be the case of too much of a good thing is very bad," I said.

"Do you have an issue with the Kas sub-plot?" Lucas asked.

"No not at all, I've told my bosses the story has good bones, it just needs to hit the gym a bit," I said.

"So, you want to thin down the Kas references?" he asked, "What else?"

"I want to tighten up the flow, streamline it like your other novels. Ravens, for example, Lindsay had your narrative flow tight as a drum," I said, "I get the irony I just used a hollow word, but I'm trying to get across how tight I want it."

"As I believe I emailed you, I've read several of the books on your resume, including my brother and sister-in-law's," Lucas said, "You do have a way of getting the most out of the author."

"So I've been told, and this book, our book, your book, is big for me and book for the company. They don't want a dribbling single down the third baseline; they want an Aaron Judge moon shot grand slam in the bottom of the ninth scores are tied hit," I said.

"Baseball fan?" Lucas asked.

"I live in New York City, and my best friend is obsessed with Aaron Judge, what do you think?" I asked.

"So what else can't I talk you out of?" he asked.

"You will remove those suggested passages, and cut the adjectives down to a maximum of two except where I noted," I said.

"You run a tight ship," he said, "also you're a taskmaster."

I sighed, "Well if you didn't give me the notes instead of a more polished work I wouldn't be here, on an indefinite stay," I said.

"Ouch!" he said.

"I'm your editor, I will be your wet nurse when you need it or your taskmaster, and right now you need a taskmaster," I said.

Lucas nodded, "You're how old, and you're this tough?" he asked.

"Almost thirty," I said, in a confident, but shadowed voice.

"Do you have a husband waiting at home for you, Ms. Sawyer?" Lucas asked.

"That's extremely private Mr. Scott," I stated plainly, "And honestly its none of your business."

Lucas nodded, "You remind me of someone, Ms. Sawyer," Lucas said, "but I bet you hear that a lot."

I shook my head, "Not really," I said.

"I'm surprised based on your resume and what Nathan and Haley told me it was like working with you, it seems you're an extraordinary young woman. That is very rare, and well it would make you stand out," he said.

I shrugged, "Maybe in Tree Hill North Carolina. In New York, New York, I'm just one in eight million, and I like that," I said.

"There isn't much to you online," Lucas said, "I was doing my due diligence when you emailed me."

"I'm very old school, I don't have a huge web presence, and if I had the room I would be listening to vinyl instead of CDs," I said.

Lucas laughed, "My Girlfriend prefers vinyl over other formats," he said.

"She must have good taste," I said, "Anyways, you have work to do."

"What are your plans for dinner?" Lucas asked.

I chuckled a little, "Lindsay warned me about you, you always try and get her to stay for family dinner when she's down here," I said.

"It usually works too," he said, "It's also called hospitality."

"I do have to finish settling in here," I said, "Also you have a lot of work to do."

"Please stay for dinner, you do eat, don't you?" he asked, I guess he was implying something about New York City women.

"I do eat, I like Greek Food, and Turkish, there are a few good places by my apartment in New York," I said.

"Well stay, the cook here makes good American Food of the Southern Variety and my whole family will be here, you already know several of them, and you just met my sister Lilly," Lucas said, "You can meet my daughter Raegan, the little fireball I raised." There was pride in his voice when he mentioned Raegan. He did love his daughter.

I grunted, "I don't like guilt trips, Lucas," I said.

"You're here and alone, it wouldn't be gentlemanly of me to let you be alone in a strange town," Lucas said.

"I'll do it one on condition," I said.

"Okay, name your condition," he said.

"Tomorrow, noon the reworks of the first five chapters in my inbox by noon," I said.

"You're tough," Lucas said, "tougher then Lindsay."

"Good, you noticed I'm not Lindsay," I said.

He nodded, "It will be tough, but I'll do it," he said.

Just then the door opened behind us. We both turned and looked to see who it was. It was harder to believe that two more opposite reactions could happen from two people sitting in the same booth. You could feel his heart and love well up when he saw the five feet seven-inch, curly blonde woman. My blood, on the other hand, got cold as ice.

"Peyton," Lucas said.

She smiled, there was some warmth there, but some sadness. Lucas got up as she walked over. When they reached each other, they kissed, and there were smiles as they gazed each other's eyes. When they finished, he looked at her.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" Lucas asked.

She sighed, "My Dad," she said, "I think he's getting worse."

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Well I went to visit him, and at first I thought he was having a good day because he was happy and showed some excitement. He kept signaling for a pen, and when I gave it two him all he wrote was Kas," Peyton said.

Lucas looked at her strangely, "Kas? Really?" Lucas asked.

Peyton nodded, "Yes, I think he's not doing good," she said.

"Lilly," Lucas called.

"Yes, Luke?" Lilly asked, peeking out from the kitchen.

"Did you visit Larry Sawyer today?" Lucas asked.

"No, I was here all day," Lilly said.

Peyton looked worried. She shook her head, "I'm losing him, Luke," she said, and Lucas hugged her. I've not mentioned this before, but I'm starting to think that Kas running away has cast a long dark shadow on this family.

"It might be Raegan, and he confused her with Kas," Lucas said, "She looks so much like her sister."

Peyton shook her head, "Raegan's hair is too red to be confused with Kas' hair color," Peyton said.

Lucas nodded, "Sorry," he said.

She shook her head, "It's me, Luke, I make people leave, I'm a horrible person," she said.

Lucas rubbed her back, "No you're not," he said.

"Well excuse me," I said, and started getting up, "Don't forget, Mr. Scott, the first five chapters in my inbox, by noon tomorrow."

"What?" Peyton asked and turned to face me. We locked eyes, and she stared at me questioning.

"Sorry, Peyton, this is Kari-Ann Sawyer, she's Lindsay's replacement," Lucas said.

"Temporary replacement," I said, and offered my hand.

Peyton took it, "Kari-Ann Sawyer? That is an irony," she said.

"How so?" I asked, looking at her.

"We have the same last name," Peyton said.

I laughed, "So did Tom," I said.

Peyton laughed, "God, I so hated that book," she said.

"I did too," I said.

"Tell me, did Lucas invite you to dinner tonight?" Peyton asked.

"Yes, he did," I said.

"Hopefully, you put up more of a fight then Lindsay does," Peyton said, "It was getting pathetic watching their little games."

I shrugged, "That's why he owes me five chapters tomorrow by noon," I said, and gave her a slight smile.

Peyton nodded, "Good," she said and looked to Lucas, "A whip cracker, we know how much you like that."

"Well excuse me, that is a little too much information," I said.

"Sorry, but it's fun watching him sweat," Peyton said and laughed.

"I guess," I said.

"So, Lucas tells me that you edited Nathan and Haley's book," Peyton said.

I nodded, "Yes, I did, it was my first book I edited," I said.

"So, you've been to Tree Hill before," Peyton said.

"Yes, for like three days at the very end of the process of editing the book, I mostly met with them in New York," I said.

Peyton smiled, "Well welcome to Tree Hill," she said, and smiled, walking away and heading towards the kitchen.

"Is she bipolar?" I asked.

Lucas shook his head, "No, she was covering up, she knows her Dad is dying and doesn't want him to die; she doesn't want to lose someone else. When our daughter ran away, the last words Kas sent her were People Always Leave," Lucas said, "It was cold and calculated, a knife right to the heart. She hasn't right since."

I nodded, and I was about to say something when the door opened again. This time, a redheaded Lilly clone from the picture walked in. Just she was older now, and this I would guess is Raegan Scott. She had this cocky smirk of a grin as she walked into the café, so her father's daughter, as several pictures of Lucas had that same look. She walked over and kissed her father on the cheek.

"Hello Dad," she said.

He smiled, "How was work today?" he asked.

"It's work," she said, "Made some money lost some money, but again I've been playing with house money since sophomore year."

I looked at her. What was she talking about?

"Raegan, this is Kari-Ann Sawyer, she's Lindsay's replacement," Lucas said.

"I see," Raegan said and looked me over. She had sharp eyes, and was reading my every move, "So, how long before you caved and said you'd have dinner with us?"

I laughed, "There were some negotiations," I said.

"So, what does he owe you?" Raegan said.

"Five chapters by tomorrow noon," I said.

Raegan laughed and turned to her father, "I like her, she's tough, unlike Lindsay. Kaylee may not like it, but Dad, it looks like you have to go home after dinner," she said.

"I like you better before you got the mouth," Lucas said.

Raegan laughed, "I was ten then," she said.

"Yeah, that tells you something Raegan," Lucas said.

Before she spoke, the door opened, and I could see the rest of the Scott Family come in. Including the one, I didn't run into today. Haley James Scott, the musician, and mother of those two kids. Now if I did their book why didn't Jamie Scott know me, you might wonder, well he was in Denver playing basketball when I was doing their book. Never met him or even talked to him before today. Haley on the other hand, we've had plenty of conversations.

Before anyone had time to talk, Lilly started coming out with the food for dinner. We got together at a table. I took my seat between Lilly and Jamie; I guess they figure since we were all the same age we had stuff in common to talk about. They served dinner in the family style, and we did eat good food. I smiled and finally looked across the table at Raegan. He eyes were burning a hole in me all night.

"Hello Raegan," I said.

"Kari-Ann," she said.

"So, what do you do for a living?" I asked, curious, because of some statements she made.

"I'm an internet entrepreneur," Raegan said.

"She's a day trader, and online gambler," Jamie said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Mostly day trading, I played a little in college and then hit it big. The gambling is nothing big, fantasy sports mostly, some poker," Raegan said.

"Yeah, you traded me away," Jamie said.

"Your numbers were awful," Raegan said.

"So much for family loyalty," Jamie said.

"So, anyways, it was sort of a career I backed into, but my Bitch," Raegan said.

"Raegan Marie, she is your Mom," Lucas said from the head of the table.

"My Mom still is trying to get me to accept the offer to model, even though I have no interest. But the few times I did model it bankrolled my day trading," Raegan said and laughed.

"I just met a model this past week, she's working on some book to help young girls with body image," I said, "I like the idea, but not my area of expertise."

"Would that be Haley Adams?" Peyton asked.

I nodded, "Yes, she was an interesting person and not that tall for a model," I said.

Raegan laughed, "Kari-Ann, you're tall," she said, "Well my Mom wants me to work with Haley Adams and her sister Sawyer modeling for their Mom's company."

I shrugged, "So why not do it?" I asked.

"Not my area of expertise," Raegan said.

After dinner, I helped Lilly clear the table and listened her tell me about her life, and how she took over the café a year after graduating college. She loved it but missed her Mom. I nodded and told her I don't have a family.

Later Haley and I found ourselves in a booth.

"So how have you been?" Haley asked.

I shrugged, "You know small fish in a big pond," I said, "As you know because Lucas probably showed you my resume, I've had several successful books I shepherded to publication. I have an excellent friend that I swear will get me arrested or killed one day. But I love my life," I said.

"No one special?" Haley asked.

"No, and Haley, I know, it seems normal down here to have a family young, but I don't want one. After what I went through with my parents, no, just Rodney and me," I said.

"Rodney?" Haley asked.

"My Norfolk Pine Tree," I said.

"Well, that's a start," she said.

"Haley, I appreciate your concern, I also know where it comes from," I said and gave her a sly smile, "I'm good, I'm fine, I can handle myself."

"Life isn't always about work," Haley said.

"That's why I have Muirgen; she keeps me from drowning myself in work. Last week she twice got me away from work earlier then I would have ended my work day," I said.

Haley nodded, "Karen, please be careful," she said.

I held a finger up to my lips, "Please use Kari around here," I said, "and I will."

Soon after I finished up talking with Haley, I said my goodbyes and reminded Lucas that he owed me five chapters by noon and left. When I got back to my hotel, I changed and went to the gym. It was a long day, and I needed a good work out. A young woman was working out there as well that caught my eye. I didn't say anything to her, and I don't think she noticed me. But her tight body made motivated me to keep working out.

Once I finished, I quickly ran to the nearby store to get food for the kitchenette. After I got back, I showered and slipped into short shorts and a sports bra. I checked my work email and laid down on the way too big bed.

I took my phone and called Muir.

"Hey Kari, hook up yet?" Muir asked as she picked up the phone.

"No, it's been all business today," I said.

"You're disappointing me, Crazy Girl," Muir said, "Anyways, I had no fun when I went to see my future husband, I have no fun when you're not with me in the stands."

"Hopefully I'll get this all worked out soon, and we can go to the games, and you can drool over Aaron Judge," I said.

"Promise," Muir said.

I smiled, "Of course, and I might even let you talk me into going out to Montauk with you," I said.

"Oh yeah, you need more Montauk stories," Muir said.

"So how is Rodney?" I asked.

"Your tree is doing well, what music should I play for it?" Muir asked.

"Rodney responds well to Rammstein, I have Mutter in my CD collection," I said.

"Wow, how can you listen to that?" Muir asked.

"Simply, in my CD player," I said.

"Funny," Muir said, "I've got some exciting news, Kari-Ann," Muir said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It will wait until you get back here," Muir said, "Got to go."

Muir hung up the phone, and I just shrugged. I plugged in my phone and climbed under the covers. I didn't know how tired I was until my head hit the pillow and I was asleep.

The next morning, awoken by the alarm on my phone. Even in North Carolina, I wanted to keep my routine as similar as possible. I was up and out of the hotel jogging. Once I got my jog in, I came back showered and made myself breakfast. After my morning coffee, I booted up my work laptop and started my morning routine with reading and answering emails.

"Kari, tell me there is progress?" Kyran asked when I called in.

"Kyran, it's me, what do you think?" I said.

"I trust you; please give me an update," Kyran said.

"I'm typing up the email for you, but the short of it has he accepted my suggestions and promised me five chapters for me to read by noon today," I said.

"How did you pull that off?" Kyran asked.

"You know how he always asks Lindsay to stay for his family dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah, over the years it's funny, how little resistance Lindsay put up to the invite," Kyran said.

"Well I bargained, I'd stay if he gave me five chapters," I said.

"Do you think he will deliver?" Kyran asked.

I laughed, "He better," I said.

Kyran chuckled, "Send me that email and one following up after those chapters arrive," he said, "And Kari, I knew you were the right editor for the job."

"Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome," he said and hung up.

I finished my work chores and had time to kill. It was too hot down here, even with AC for my comfy sweats, so I just wore my running shorts and sports bra. I had my hair up in a messy bun and my glasses on. After finishing my work, I went through my CD collection. I found the one CD I always bring with me, it's a bunch of poppy dance to its music, really a lot of 1980's music and put it into my Discman.

As the music started to play, I began to shake my ass to it. I did this often just for the fun of it. Usually dressed in my sweats or how I am. There is nothing wrong with being a cheesy goofball. It's my life, and I want to have fun while living it. Yes, I'm hiding and living off the grid, but I can still have fun doing it. Also, how off the grind am I? I have a license, bank accounts, and a job; it's all about hiding in plain sight, I'm using Kari instead of Karen because I like Kari better.

There was a knock on the door. I stopped dancing and looked around sheepishly. I smiled and walked to the door, and my years of living in New York I checked the peephole. It was Kaylee Scott. Checking the clock, it was eleven o'clock. He was early. I opened the door and let Kaylee in.

"I see you dressed up for the occasion," Kaylee said.

I shrugged, "I'm waiting for your Uncle's Pages," I said.

"Well, how are you doing this morning considering all the family being together last night?" Kaylee asked.

I shrugged, "I'm good. Peyton was distracted, and Raegan was bragging," I said, "So how is Miss Kaylee this morning?"

"Overworked," Kaylee said, "Uncle Lucas left right after you did and worked late into the night. He called me to get in early so I can print and get you these. He's at his condo taking a nap."

I laughed, "Good," I said and opened the envelope and read it over. Nodding, I looked at Kaylee.

"This should do," I said, "When he wakes up, tell him I want five more by tomorrow at 1 pm."

Kaylee looked at me, "What are you trying to do, kill me?" she asked.

"No kick him in the pants and get this done the right way, the correct way. The way it should have been done, originally," I said.

Kaylee nodded, "Good, he needed it, Lindsay and Peyton were too soft on him," Kaylee said and smiled. I showed her out and started reading the pages. A paused just long enough to send Kyran an email saying I got the five chapters and was reading them. I would update him when I finished with them.

I owe the readers and even the writer the best. My best effort and Lucas' best effort. They pay for this; they pay for my life and his. Yes, I'm going to be hard on Lucas, yes, I'm going to drag the emotions out of him and craft a fine story. Anything worth doing is worth doing well and by full measure. I remember reading something Henry Rollins said about this, yes I'm quoting my spirit animal again, " _I've always seen it as the role of an artist to drag his inside out, give the audience all you've got. Writers, actors, singers, all good artists do the same. It isn't supposed to be easy._ " 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Don't Believe The Hype**

It's easy to fall into a routine, which I did in North Carolina. I still stayed in Wilmington and got up every morning to jog and workout. My work with Lucas was going slowly, but going. After the first run through of chapters, it was debriding the fluff and setting some of the misaligned bones. What can I say about Lucas? He was a trooper about this.

Now, with his second draft, Kyran and I agreed we have something workable. Because of the earlier issues, we went chapter by chapter. Sometimes, when it was slow; I had days with no work. So, I emailed Kyran, and he couriered over two more manuscripts which filled my time between fixing _The Empty Man_.

It was summer down here, and I was glad Muir made me pack a swimsuit. On one slow day, I went out to the nearby beach. I missed the lazy beach days of my youth. Feeling the sun on my skin was, for lack of a better word, delightful. After a couple of weeks, I find myself going two to three times a week to the beach. I even work at the beach on a couple of really nice days.

One day, I was relaxing. It was a slow day. Lucas was working rather slowly on this chapter. The other manuscripts were back with the authors for revision. So, I took the downtime, even though there's no downtime, to recover. That was when I felt a shadow over me.

I opened my eyes and pushed back my sunglasses. It was Nathan Scott. He was standing over me, sweaty from jogging.

"Can I join you?" he asked.

"Go ahead," I said, and he plopped down on the sand next to me.

"How's the book coming along?" Nathan asked.

"Lucas' is coming slowly. The others are coming along pretty well," I said.

"So, that's why I haven't seen you around?" he asked.

"Yup. I've been busy, but not today," I said.

"Self-love day?" Nathan asked.

"Yes. Self-love, not self-love," I said and laughed.

He shook his head. "So, I get it. You're not Brooking yourself," he said.

"If I were, I wouldn't share it with you," I said laughing.

"Yeah, that would be kind of creepy in the redneck sort of way," Nathan said.

I nodded. "So, why did you keep my secret? Your first loyalty is to Lucas. He is your brother," I asked.

"I can only speak for myself. Haley and Kaylee have their reasons," he said.

"Please share," I said.

"Out of respect for your silence," Nathan said. "You did what you did for your reasons. I don't know what they are, and I may not understand or agree with them, but they are yours.

"Thank you," I said.

"Not finished," he said.

"Go on," I responded.

"Also, mainly, Lucas is looking for Kas. He has it in his mind who Kas is. When we met, Karen, to edit my book, you weren't Kas. You were Kari. Not the same person," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"This is biting, so, don't get butthurt," Nathan said.

"I'll try not to melt," I said.

"Kas was very immature and full of herself. Completely shallow. Kari had matured and worked hard and cold, business-like, callous at times, but mature. You've mistreated everyone; I get it. You're here to do a job, but you can't let your Sawyer nature get to you," Nathan said.

"It's hard sometimes. I didn't know anyone here. A pair of visits and that's it. The family I knew was in Malibu and, well, I couldn't live there anymore," I said.

"So, it was better to be alone than with family I didn't trust or didn't know?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Honestly, I don't even know what I was thinking," I said. "I was a kid. I never really lived and had no responsibility or accountability. I just acted like what I was: a spoiled brat."

"Yet, you still deny to your parents, sister, and aunt who you are?" he asked.

"Somethings don't go away that easily, Nathan," I said.

"True. But, the truth always has a way of coming to the top," Nathan said.

"Until then, I'll kick the can down the road," I said. "I'm not ready to let them back in."

"It's your life. But that's my advice," Nathan said. "You've never called me Uncle Nathan."

"Never called Lilly Aunt Lilly. And we used to hang out together," I said.

"Well, Lilly is a special case. Anyways, I've got to go. Think about what I said," Nathan said and was up and jogging away.

I put my sunglasses back over my eyes and leaned back. Sometimes, working hard pays off. I have a beautiful day on the beach and a good tan in the works. What I'm hoping for is a work message, a manuscript, or Lucas' chapter.

I'm missing Muir right about now. She would have come up with some scheme to get me out and have fun. I wonder what Muir has to tell me. Did she finally get her crush to notice her, or did she give up on him? You can never say with Muir. It could be both.

My phone buzzed, and I reached over and unlocked it. A text message from Kaylee. She has today's chapter and will be heading over to my hotel. I texted back to tell her to give me forty-five minutes.

Shooting up, I pulled on my short running shorts and my crop top, slipped on my shoes, packed my stuff, and was heading to my car. Throwing my stuff in my car, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and slipped on my Yankees cap.

Once in the car, I was off. Kari-Ann doesn't want to meet Officer Nathan Smith again. Why are you so excited? Maybe because it's actual work?

Once at the hotel, I get to my room and throw my beach bag, a local purchase, which is blue and black and says _Tree Hill Ravens_ , on one of the sofas. I could feel the sand and sunblock on my skin. I need to shower.

There was a knock on my door. I answered it and let Kaylee in. She looked around and laughed.

"I'm a bit overdressed," Kaylee said and laughed.

"Sorry. I was at the beach," I said.

"Damn. Do you live at the gym?" Kaylee said. "You have a great body."

"Thanks," I said.

"Anyways," Kaylee said and put down the envelope. "Hot off the presses."

I handed yesterday's chapter back to her. "Looks good. Is Lucas working on the next one?" I asked.

Kaylee nodded. "Yes. I think he's scared of you," she said and laughed. "That's got to be satisfying. I wish I could get my dad scared of me."

I nodded. "I didn't want or try to make Lucas scared of me."

"It happened though," Kaylee said. "And seriously, what do you do? I wish I had a body as tight as yours."

I laughed. "I jog every morning and work out every night. Low weight and high reps," I said.

"So jealous," Kaylee said.

"So, Kaylee, why did you keep my secret?" I asked.

"I have no reason not to keep it. You have your reasons for having it and, well, not my secret to break. Maybe reading too much JK Rowling when I was younger," she said.

I nodded, and there was a knock on the door. Kaylee and I looked at each other and shrugged.

"Who could that be?" I asked.

"I haven't got a clue," Kaylee said.

I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. A smile broke out on my face as soon as I saw who it was. Opening the door to my room, and a northerly hurricane came through the door. Muir came down from New York, and she brought Rodney.

"Hey, Crazy Girl. Already hit the beach without me? Is it me, or have you gotten hotter since you've been here?" Muir said as she came into the living area. She looked over at Kaylee and took her sunglasses down from her eyes. "Hello. So, experimenting while down here? She's cute."

"Kaylee, this force of nature is my best friend and hopefully still co-worker Muirgen Harper," I said. "Muir, this is Kaylee Scott, Lucas Scott's assistant."

"Nice to meet you," Kaylee said and offered Muir, her hand.

Muir took it. "Pleasure. So, has Crazy Girl here been having fun without me?" Muir asked.

"Been mostly working, Muir," I said.

"From the beach, I see," Muir said.

"Some," I responded. "It's been too nice to be inside, someday. So, you brought Rodney down on a commercial flight?"

Muir laughed. "What? No. There is no way I'm visiting my bestie and flying commercial," Muir said. "Anyways, Rodney misses his momma."

"Okay. So, how did you get here from New York?" Kaylee asked.

Muir smiled. "You know those first world problems, young Kaylee," she said. "When you want to be poppin' bottles in the ice, like a blizzard. When we drink, we do it right. Getting slizzard, sippin' sizzurp in my ride, in my ride, like three six. Now, I'm feelin' fly like a Gee Six, but daddy can only afford a Gee four."

"What are you talking about?" Kaylee asked.

"If you haven't figured it out, Muir here was smart enough to be born to rich parents," I said.

Kaylee laughed. "I see."

"So, let me get changed, we'll put headphones on Rodney, and show me the beach," Muir said.

"Muir, I have a chapter to read," I said.

"You said it yourself. You've worked at the beach before," Muir said. I was about to respond, and she put a finger to my lips. "Shh. No excuse. You can hog all the hotties down here, now that I'm here. What else is there to do around here?"

"Umm," Kaylee said.

"Yes, Kaylee?" I asked.

"Well, Raegan, Lilly, and I were headed out to Wilmington tonight. You two can tag along. I think Madison, a friend of Jamie and Lilly's, is coming, too," Kaylee said.

"It's a date," Muir said and walked away to the bedroom.

"I guess we're going with you tonight," I said.

"Is she always like that?" Kaylee asked.

I shook my head. "No, she must be tired," I said.

"God bless you," Kaylee said. "You have a stronger constitution than me."

"Who uses constitution anymore?" I asked.

"You know my mom and uncle," Kaylee said.

"Point taken," I responded.

"Well, I have to head back to the salt mines," Kaylee said and left. Just as the door closed, the bedroom door opened, and Muir stepped out, ready for the beach.

"Where's your little friend?" Muir asked.

"She has to go back to work, like some of us do," I said. "Muir, please tell me you're still employed."

"I am. I took today off to hang with my bestie. And to smuggle good pizza and bagels to you," Muir said.

"Thanks, Muir," I said.

"So, you, let's go to the beach," Muir said.

Well, I will have a hard time denying that Muir coming for a visit pissed me off. It didn't. Having Muir down here will be fun. She has a way of making me have fun. Maybe I've been hyperaware over the years. Perhaps because by my nature, to overachieve that keeps my nose to the grindstone, possibly because I'm here, all alone with no safety net.

To my work, I worked on the beach. It's not the first time since coming down here. For the first time since coming to New York, I didn't have that pale pallor to my skin. Muir was next to me, earbuds in, listening to something and checking out the guys.

Maybe Muirgen is my mirror, my opposite. Or, I'm getting it wrong. She's my dark reflection. What I would have become if I stayed on the road I was on. Do I see the person I was in someone that is a best friend? Again, there is something about her that attaches me to her as a friend. She reminds me of someone.

"I can see why you like to work on the beach," Muir said. "If they had this back at the office, I'd be more productive than you, Kari."

I chuckled. "Or be looking at guys all the time," I said.

"So, Kaylee. Is she Lucas Scott's daughter?" Muir asked.

"Niece. His brother's daughter," I said.

"So that would make her Big Game James' sister?" Muir asked.

"Yes," I said. "Kaylee is Jamie's baby sister."

"You know the Knicks need a point guard," Muir said.

"So, you want to help the Knicks with some recruiting?" I asked.

"Now, that's an idea," Muir said. "If it works, do you think I'll get courtside seats?"

I shook my head and picked up my phone and answered it. "Kari-Ann Sawyer," I said. "Oh, Hi Kaylee. Yes, we'll meet you at the café. Okay, eight o'clock. See you there," I said as I hung up and looked over at Muir. "We're meeting the girls at Lilly's café at eight o'clock."

"Nice. You know we're going to need to shower. And, where am I crashing? In case I hook up tonight," Muir asked.

"The couch pulls out," I said.

"Really? My sleep on a pullout?" Muir asked.

"Yes. The bed is mine," I said.

"Why?" Muir asked.

"The company is paying for it. For me. Not you," I said.

Muir nodded. "I guess," she said.

After a few more minutes, we decided to head back to the hotel. Once at the hotel, I took the first shower. All the sand and sunscreen were washed off. The water felt good against my skin. Getting out of the bathroom, I wrapped myself in a robe. I went to the desk as Muir showered. I finished up the chapter and made my notes. After placing it in the envelope, I went into the bedroom. Going through the closet, I was looking to see what Muir packed me for nights like this. I found something I liked and laid it out on the bed. Next was the right underwear. That's something important.

I checked my watch and smiled. Time to eat. Wandering around the room to the kitchenette, I started looking for something to cook. Muir came out of the bathroom where I wore a long terrycloth robe. Muir wore a short silk one.

"What's for dinner?" she asked.

"I'm trying to figure that out right now," I said.

"Good," she said. She collected some clothing and went into the bedroom.

I finally figured out what I had and started cooking. My skills are somewhat limited, but I was a better cook than Muir. By the time Muir came out of the bedroom still wearing the robe, she had taken a seat at the breakfast bar, and I slid her plate to her.

"What do we have?" Muir asked.

"Edible food," I said and joined her.

After dinner and cleaning up, we both retreated to the bedroom to get ready. After slipping on my dress, Muir looked at me and smiled. "That looks so hot on you. Especially now that you're all tanned up," she said.

"Thanks. You said that in Montauk. Anyways, you look good, too," I said.

"Thanks. And it still holds true," Muir replied.

I drove us over to Karen's café. Finding the right place to park, we headed to the café. Inside, we found Kaylee, Raegan, and a brown-haired woman around my age sitting at the corner of the counter. Kaylee hopped off the stool and met us halfway across the floor.

"Hey. We're waiting for Lilly to get changed. And since Y'all are here, I can lock up," Kaylee said.

I nodded and looked at Muir. "She cleans up nicely," Muirgen said.

"That she does," I said and walked over to Raegan, and she looked at me.

"Hello, Kas," Raegan said.

"Excuse me? What did you call me?" I asked.

"Kas. The name my sister used to go by," Raegan said.

"I see," I said.

Raegan sighed. "You're good at hiding in plain sight, but the fake glasses and dyed hair won't last long," Raegan said.

"Are you sure you want to go down this road?" I asked evenly.

"If it gets my sister to admit who she is, I will storm the gates of Hell," Raegan said.

"That's a bit dramatic," I said in a hushed voice.

"Not as much as a text message using someone's words against them. That's cold and cuts to the heart. I wouldn't even do that to my bitch," Raegan said.

"So, I'm not as smart as I think I am," I said.

"You're good, Kas, but I'm better," Raegan said.

"So, how long have you known?" I asked.

"Dinner here when you first came back. I suspected when you edited Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley's book. Your handwriting was the giveaway. But it was this damn crappy book that put it together," Raegan said.

"So, you own me," I said.

"Damn straight," Raegan said.

"So, what do you want?" I asked.

"Why did you run from us? I can care less about blondie, and the Malibu set, but why us too?" Raegan asked.

"Truth?" I asked.

"No, lie to me," Raegan said. "What do you think?"

"I was being selfish and acting like a hurt child, never hurting like that before and having the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. There are plenty of nights I've sat up and wondered if what I did was right," I said.

"You remember I was the one that found you and comforted you on the night you found out," Raegan said.

"I remember," I said, and my mind drifted to that California early spring night. I was collapsed at center court of this rundown basketball court, crying my eyes out. I had just found out I lay to my whole life about most things. My parents arguing, about me and their relationship, and that dream. That innocent child's dream died along with everything else. This red-haired woman, then just near the end of childhood found me and comforted me. "I can never forget that, Raegan."

Raegan nodded. "You're my sister. For whatever reason, I can't stay mad at you damn it. I try and try hard at it. But, it doesn't mean I'm happy with you," Raegan said.

I looked dead into her blue eyes. Raegan had the Scott look. Lilly, her aunt, was often confused for her sister. Based on the age difference, Lilly was, well, an oops, and reasonably considered a late in life baby.

"So, Kari. Have you met Madison?" Raegan asked.

"No," I said. "Have you met Muirgen?"

Raegan turned. "Madison, this is Kari-Ann Sawyer. She's working on my dad's new book," she said.

"Hi. Nice to meet you," Madison said in a soft voice.

I smiled. Madison seemed rather meek. Reaching over, I grabbed Muir by the arm and dragged her over. Muir stopped and smiled.

"Muir, this is Raegan and Madison," I said. "Raegan is Lucas' daughter."  
"Hey, you were on a hot cheerleaders list online," Muir said.

Raegan blushed a little. "Yes. And you babysat me last time my dad took me to New York," she said.

"I thought I did a good job watching you," Muir said.

"You, well, you tried to duct tape me to the toilet," Raegan said.

"Muir," I said. "One, you can't duct tape people down and two, where did you get the duct tape?"

"Well, I would know where she was, and I had a mani/pedi booked," Muir said.

"That's not nice," Madison said quietly.

"It is," Muir said.

"What makes you say that?" Raegan asked.

"One of my nannies used to do that to me," Muir said.

"That explains a lot," I said.

Muirgen was about to say something, but Lilly came out of the kitchen. Everyone on instinct turned to look at the noise. Lilly, well, she cleaned up nicely. She was gorgeous. Since I got down here, she was always working, running this small café. She looked ready to go out.

"Sudden silence. Y'all must be talking about me," Lilly said.

"No Lil, we were talking about how Kari's friend tried to tape Raegan to the toilet," Kaylee said.

"I heard about that," Lilly said. "Not happy that it happened, but there were a few times I've wanted to tire her down," Lilly said and laughed.

"Hey!" Raegan yelled.

"You can be a handful, Raegan," Lilly said.

Muirgen looked at Lilly, then Raegan, and back again. Finally, she settled on Raegan. "Older sister?" Muirgen asked.

"Aunt, but we're often confused for sisters," Raegan said.

Lilly nodded. "I used to find it annoying, but the Scott genes are strong," she said. "Raegan's older sister looks like her."

I could feel Raegan's eyes on me. I kept quiet. Muir nodded.

"Really? There's another one?" Muir asked. She was an only child and was always fascinated by people with siblings.

"Yeah, we have a picture of all three of us over here," Lilly said.

"Shouldn't we be heading out?" Kaylee asked.

"It'll take a few minutes. Are you in a rush, Kaylee?" Lilly asked.

"No, I don't think Muirgen would be interested in that little piece of family drama," Kaylee said.

"Drama. I love other peoples' drama," Muirgen said.

"You also like to cause it," I said.

"Do not," Muir said.

"Why do I have to go to sporting games with you? To keep you from getting arrested," I said.

"Also, because you like going to games," Muir said.

I laughed. "True. Let's get out of here," I said. "There are bars, cocktails, and guys that Muir needs to get into."

Lilly laughed. "Yeah, it's my night off. Let's show these guys what they're missing," Lilly said, forgetting about the picture.

We ended up barhopping a bit until we found a place where we liked the vibe. Now, I'm not one of those Taylor Swift types that need a squad. Personally, I think Taylor does it to make herself seem relevant. Enough ranting, it is fun being out with people my age, and it was nice of Kaylee to invite us to tag along.

Drinks were free flowing, and so were the stories. I missed this; I had a squad once. That was before my world became asunder. Hell, we even danced. It was nice to see quiet little Madison also got up and danced.

A few hours into the night, I was looking towards the door, and a pack of guys walked in. In the lead was Jamie Scott, or as Muir liked to refer to him, Big Game James. Along with him was the cop from my first day here, another tall blonde guy, and a handsome gentleman of color.

Jamie looked over at us and gave us a smirk. He pointed the table out to his pack of friends, and they all smiled and walked over. That was when I noticed a brunette woman was with the group. She seemed to be with the rather large (As in built like a football player) brown haired guy. My eyes met hers, and there was a connection. Something was there, and I felt the sense of here and now drift away. It was out west in the dying light of another day and a porch.

"Kari," I hear someone calling my name, and I look over to see Lilly calling me. I look over at her, and she shook her head.

"What?" I asked.

"Sorry about that. It seems like Kari zoned out," Lilly said. "Everyone, this is Kari-Ann and her friend Muirgen. Kari is working on Lucas' new book."  
"What happened to Lindsay?" the police officer asked.

"Maternity leave," I said.

He nodded. Lilly looked them over. "So, that genius is Nate Smith," she said.

"Pleasure," Nate said to Muir and looked at me. "We've met before. Are you obeying the speed limit?"  
"Yes, I am," I said and noticed he was checking me out.

"The big guy is Chuck Scolnik," Lilly said. "And attached to him is his girlfriend, Danielle Wayland."

"Pleasure," Chuck said to myself and Muir.

I could tell that Muir was polite. She wanted her introduction to Jamie, and, looking across the table, I could see Kaylee knew it, too.

I shook Danielle's hand, and it was uncomfortable. My nerves were on edge. No, it wasn't an attraction or anything like that. It was fight or flight. I didn't want to be around Danielle. I found out the third guy, Andre Fields, to my liking. He was different than the other guys. For one, he was charming. And two, he was African- American. As I predicted, Muir latched onto Jamie like a remora fish to a shark, as they joined us.

"So, Danielle. What brings you to town?" Raegan asked.

Danielle laughed. It was the So-Cal LA laugh. I knew it so well. "Well, I wanted to see this lunkhead," she said and hugged and then kissed Chuck's cheek. "Also, I missed Peyton."

"So, how did you meet Chuck here? Since you're not from around here," I asked with an even tone.

"After Peyton moved back here, I came to visit. Since she was like a mom to me and I helped her through her grief after her daughter took off. You believe the nerve of Kas? Sending that text to her knowing how she had abandonment issues," Danielle said.

"Danielle, we've all heard this story before," Madison said. "Also, how you martyred yourself to help poor ol' Peyton."

Kaylee laughed and Raegan point at Madison. "That is why we hang out," Raegan said.

Lilly laughed a little. "Now, let's have fun," she said. "Enough of the backstory."

The music was starting to get me into the mood to dance. I grabbed Andre and pulled him out to the open area of the floor. As we began to move to the music, I looked him dead in the eyes.

"So, you're Andre?" I said. I know, real smooth.

He laughed. "That's what my momma named me," Andre said.

"Sorry. I'm a bit out of practice," I replied.

"It's ok. Not everyone likes being around Danielle," he said.

I smiled. "Yeah, Danielle seems a bit…" I couldn't find the words to finish the sentence.

"Too much like Kas," Andre said.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Like Kas? You know Kas? All I hear about is this Kas," I said. Calm down, Kari. You knew it could be like this when you came down here.

"No. I've never actually met Kas, but from the stories I've heard from Raegan and Lilly, I figured at times, she could be full of herself. Spoiled and superficial," Andre said.

I nodded. "I've heard that too," I said and checked out Andre's muscular arms.

"So, what's your story? How do you end up editing books?" Andre asked.

I laughed. "I needed a job out of college," I replied.

Andre laughed. "Didn't we all?" he said.

"So, what's your story?" I asked.

"Jamie and I grew up together, play basketball together, and even went to college together. Well, I got into a terrible car accident and couldn't play anymore. So, when Jamie went to the NBA, he gave me a job. So, I'm his assistant," Andre said.

"That was nice of him," I said, studying his eyes.

"Yeah. Well, I guess James felt he owed me," Andre said.

"How so?" I asked.

"We've kept an eye on each other since we were little, and even more so after my brother's murder, we grew closer," Andre said.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, Andre," I said.

He nodded. "It was a long time ago. It doesn't stop hurting, but it gets easier a little bit every day, but the pain never goes away," Andre said.

I nodded. I didn't have any concept of what it was like to lose a sibling. That is because I have no siblings. Pulling him close, I hugged him. And, on an impulse, I kissed him. And Andre didn't fight back.

It was a crazy night. This large group went down the street, going bar to bar. Many drinks were drunk, and many dances were danced. In one bar, they were doing karaoke and guess what we did. That's right, we sang. I think the highlight was Muir and I do a duet.

Well, the light finally drifted through the crack in the curtains of my hotel bedroom. Sitting up naked, I look over to the other side of my bed. A smile cracked across my face. Passed out, face down, was Andre Fields. On his bare back, I could see the surgical scars where they worked on his back.

Throwing off the covers, I searched around to find a large t-shirt and pulled it on. Stretching out, I decided I needed coffee. Yes, even down here, I needed my coffee fix. Walking out into the main room, I found Muir crashed out on the pull-out bed. I'll be damned if she didn't finally pull off a sport hook up. Jamie Scott was also in bed, with Muir wrapped around him.

Over by the window, I could see Rodney getting sun. I laughed as I saw that Muir had put sunglasses and headphones on my plant. Shaking my head, I started to make a small pot of coffee. As it brewed, I went back into the bedroom and slipped on my PJ pants. I also texted Kaylee to see if there were any plans to work today.

As I poured myself a cup of coffee, there was stirring as Muir and Jamie began to move. Finally, Muir sat up and pulled the covers close.

"I smell coffee," Muir said.

"I smell sex," I replied.

Muir looked at me with that look any best friend would give you if you were stupid. I just shook my head and pulled out another mug. Muir just smiled at me.

"Speaking of sex, from what I heard last night, you and Andre weren't just talking all night," Muir said.

"I'll never tell," I said with a wink. "Everything."

Muir chuckled. "Wow crazy girl, you're becoming a wild child," she said.

I held a finger up to my lips. "Shh. We don't want to let all my secrets out. Anyways, your coffee is ready," I said.

Muir slipped out of bed and slipped on a man's button-down shirt she found on the floor. She took a seat at the breakfast bar, and I handed her her coffee. She took it and looked at me.

"Well?" Muir asked.

"Well, what?" I asked back.

"Did you enjoy all the rides at the Andre Fields?" Muir asked.

"All I'm going to say is that I enjoyed my time on the Fields," I said.

We heard grumbling from the bedroom as Andre came out, wearing just his boxers. He was rubbing his eyes and looked at us.

"Did I miss something?" Andre asked.

I shook my head and pointed to the sofa bed. He looked, nodded, and walked over to the breakfast bar. "So, is there enough for me?" Andre asked.

"I don't know. Jamie gave me quite a workout, and I'm not sure Kari would want to share," Muir said.

Talk about making someone blush. That was Andre. "Ummm, I mean coffee," he said.

Both Muir and I laughed. Shaking my head, I poured Andre a cup and gave it to him.

"Thanks," Andre said.

"You're welcome," I said.

"For the coffee or the sex?" Muir asked, which caused Andre to blush again.

"Enough Muir. Try to have good behavior," I said.

"Why did you say good behavior?" Andre asked.

"Because being bad is still behaving," Both Muir and I said at the same time. That statement caused Andre to laugh. He looked around the room and saw Rodney.

"Okay, what's with the plant?" Andre asked.

"That's Kari's child," Muir said, which caused Andre to look at me strangely.

"You know how you start by keeping a plant alive, and if it's still alive for a year, you get a pet, and if that's still alive after a year, you're ready to try relationships? That's my plant," I said. "I can't have pets other than goldfish, and you can't measure shit with goldfish."

"You don't strike me as someone that went to rehab," Andre said.

I shook my head. "It's a long story, and no, I'm not on the wagon," I said.

"I don't even know," Muir said.

Andre nodded and decided to let sleeping dogs lie. We drank our coffee and chatted. Eventually, Jamie woke up and joined us. After a quick clean up, we decided to head out for some breakfast. It is nice to be relatively speaking young and carefree for a change. I was enjoying being social. I missed this part of my old life.

Seeing Danielle last night, well, let's just say some not too pleasant memories drifted up. She reminded me too much of my past, and again, someone mentioned Kas.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Andre asked.

"I do have to get some work done on Lucas' book," I said.

"Oh, Kari. Can't you take at least a one-day vacation?" Muir asked.

"I don't do vacations," I said.

"Don't you ever relax?" Jamie said.

I shook my head. "I'm always restless," I said. That's when my phone went off. I picked it up and looked at it and frowned.

"What's wrong, Kari?" Muir asked.

"It was a text from Kaylee," I said.

"And?" Andre asked.

"Lucas is taking the day off and going to the beach today," I said.

"Damn, I forgot," Jamie said. "We were doing a family beach day."

I nodded. "Yeah. Another day delayed," I said.

"Kari, you have to live a little," Muir said.

Before I said anything, Jamie spoke up. "Kari, why don't you and Muir join us. I'm sure uncle Luke won't mind."

"Yeah, Kari. Take me to the beach," Muir said in her whiny, spoiled child voice.

I sighed. "Okay. I can bring some work with me," I said.

"Do you have to bring work?" Muir asked.

"Muir, that's why I'm here. To work," I replied.

"All work and no play, as they say," Jamie added.

"I find Kari interesting as she is," Andre said.

Jamie made a noise as he looked at Andre. Finally, he turned to me. "We'll be at my parent's beach house so that Y'all can change there," he said.

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Okay. Fine. We'll go," I finally said.

We finished breakfast, and I drove Muir back to the hotel. I took the time to check on Rodney and then packed my work into my beach bag. After Muir finished with the bathroom, I showered to get the funk off from last night.

I dressed in my bikini and slipped on a muscle shirt and some running shorts. Muir shook her head as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and slipped on my Yankee's cap. My hair was growing, and my natural hair color is showing again. I need to get a trim and coloring.

Grabbing my sunglasses, I started to head out. I looked at Muir. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Why do you always look so good?" Muir asked.

"I have no clue," I said.

Once in the car, I head out to the Scott Beach House. It sucks. I just want to get my work done and head back to NYC. I guess some people need time off. Maybe it's something Henry Rollins once said. " _You might as well enjoy the day. You never know when and how painfully it could all end._ "

After we parked, we walked out onto the beach. Even behind sunglasses, I knew Muir was checking Jamie out as he was tossing a football with his friends. I'm not a crowd person, and, well, this family seems to be a traveling party. Or, is it as Ernest Hemingway put it: A moveable feast.

"Kari! Muir!" Lilly called to us and waved. I half-heartedly smiled, and Muir just nodded. We walked over to Lilly and smiled.

"From how Andre and Jamie are talking, I'm surprised you two made it," Lilly said.

I shook my head and looked at Muir, who smirked.

"Little does he know," Muir said with a laugh.

"Anyways, let me introduce you," Lilly said and smiled. Why does Lilly always seem happy?  
"Mom," Lilly said. "This is Kari's friend, Muirgen."

Karen slid down her sunglasses and looked at Muir. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said.

"Same here," Muirgen said.

"Well, I have some work to do," I said and set up my chair and pulled out my work. Lilly continued to introduce Muir to everyone.

I started to work on Lucas' manuscript. Ever since I've been down here, his focus returned, and the work was up to standard. Slowly, I reviewed everything and found few things, if anything, that needed to change.

"Do you have to work, Kari?" Karen asked me.

I nodded. "That's why I'm here," I said.

"You remind me of Lucas sometimes," Karen said.

I turned and looked at her. "What?" I asked.

"You both tend to be way too serious," Karen said. "Raegan is like that, too."

"Oh. Nothing wrong with being focused. And, doing Lucas' book is a significant opportunity for me," I said.

Karen nodded just as Peyton came over and crashed down next to us.

"When did I get so old? I can't keep up with them anymore," Peyton said.

Karen laughed. "That's life. I had to keep reminding myself of that with Lilly," she said.

Peyton shook her head. "Where does Lucas get all that energy? I wish I could bottle it. I'd make a fortune," Peyton said and laughed.

"I don't know, but I'd be your first customer," Karen said with a laugh.

Peyton laughed and looked at me. "Kari, why are you working on such a nice day like this?" she asked. "You're young. You should be enjoying yourself like Muirgen, not sitting around with us old folks."

"I do have a deadline to meet," I said and looked down the beach. There were some beautiful waves, and I noted Raegan and Lilly were heading out with surfboards.

"Christ. I hate when they do that," Karen said.

"Do what?" I ask.

"They're surfing again. They picked that up from Kas," Karen said and shot Peyton a look.

"What? I didn't teach Kas how to surf. That was Chase," Peyton said.

I just slid down in my beach chair and kept working, not wanting to be pulled into this discussion.

"Still, ever since Kas visited and got them into surfing," Karen said. "Every time they head out, I get worried."

I try to focus, as the two women talk around me. Lucas was on his game this chapter, so I quickly went through it and put it away. Now, I can relax. I take off my ball cap and remove my shirt. After some quick sunscreen, I put my ball cap back on and leaned back.

It was going to be an excellent, peaceful beach day. That was until Muir and Raegan decided to stir the pot. I didn't know it at the time when I saw them and Lilly walking up. Pushing back my sunglasses, I looked at them.

"Kari, Muirgen told me you surf," Raegan said.

I looked at Muir and shot her a death look. A quick peek, and I saw Peyton was taking an interest in Raegan's statement.

"Once, over Memorial Day weekend, because some guy talked me into it," I said.

"C'mon Kari. You were good," Muir said.

"I was lucky," I Said quickly.

"Give it a try, Kari. You never know. You might like it," Raegan said. I know she's needling me. She can be a thorn in anybody's side, and right now, she's mine.

"No. I just got my nails the length I want them, and I don't want to break them," I said.

Raegan held up her hands which showed me her nails were the same length. "You won't," she said.

"Well, I'm not attempting anything in this top. I don't want to give the whole beach a show," I said.

Raegan laughed, put down her board, and went over to her bag. She threw me a shirt similar to the one she was wearing.

"I took the chance and got you one to wear as well," Raegan said.

I huffed. "If I try it once, will you leave me alone?" I asked.

"Sure," Raegan said with a devilish grin. She was trying to prove a point. I knew which one and I didn't appreciate it. Pulling on the shirt, she gave me; I dropped my sunglass and hat onto the beach chair. Raegan made a big show of explaining everything to me.

Soon, I was out with Lilly waiting for a wave. Damn, if only for a shark or squall line to come through. Goofy foot, maybe do it that way or tank the run. It was nice to be out and smell the sea air, but the Atlantic smelled so much different than the Pacific. Looking at Lilly, she nodded when an okay wave came through, and she coached me through it.

Damn instincts and muscle memory kicked in. The next thing I know, I'm riding the board into the shore. God damn, a red flag just rose. On the beach, I carry the board up to Raegan.

"Kari, you were amazing," Muir said.

"Thanks," I said. "Beginners luck."

I dropped the board at Raegan's feet.

"You did good, Kari," Raegan said with a knowing smile.

"I'm never doing that again and get me out of this damn thing," I said.

Raegan got me out of the leash, and I went to my bag to get my towel. I turn back to Peyton and pull off the shirt Raegan gave me. I made sure my top was in place, and I dried off. When I turned around, I noticed Peyton was giving me a look.

I finished drying off and took to sun-worshipping again. There was a certain amount of ratcheted up tension between Peyton and me now. I stayed as long as I dared and soon collected Muir and headed back to the hotel. The rest of the weekend, I stayed clear of the Scott clan. Finally, I dropped Muir and Rodney off to fly back to New York. It was fun, but I needed to get this work done.

It was about a week later when we finished. I thanked Lucas and sent the files electronically up to Kyran in NYC. I packed my bags and booked my flight. Only a few more things I had to do before I flew home.

The hospice was one of them. I wanted to say goodbye to Larry Sawyer. When I got there, I found Danielle was already there visiting. She stood up and looked at me.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she said. "Kas."

I looked at her. "Excuse me?" I said.

"Don't pull that bullshit with me, Kas," Danielle said. "Next to Hales and Sawyer, I'm the closest thing you had to a sister growing up."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said weakly.

"Kas, I know you better than most people, and honestly, I was pissed. I can't, now, it's not good for my Karma, and I understand why you did it. Just remember, you hurt a lot more people than you intended," Danielle said and walked out of the room.

Later that night, I was working out in the gym. That same woman was there working out. My eyes fixed on to her and her body. Suddenly, she stopped and walked over to me.

"Do you like what you see?" she asked playfully.

I stopped, almost falling off the machine. Shutting down the treadmill, I looked at her sharp and beautiful gray eyes. "Umm, yeah. I guess," I said.

"You've been checking me out since you got here," She said with a playful purr in her voice.

"Umm, yeah. You have a great body, and it's motivating me to work hard," I said. Which was part of the truth? The rest is, she's beautiful, and I'm physically attracted to her.

"Well, if I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" she asked playfully. It was and still is, a horrible pick up line.

"Umm, thanks," I managed to say.

"You're welcome. I'm Maeghan," she said.

"Kari," I said.

"So, what brings you here?" Maeghan asked.

"Work, and you?" I asked, not quite sure where this was going.

"I work here, and they let us use the gym," she said. "I meet many interesting women here. You are probably the most interesting one that has passed through here in a while."

"How so?" I asked. The air was undoubtedly heavy and thick around us. I was sweating, and it was from more than working out. I wonder why. This isn't new territory for me.

"Well, I'm good with accents, and I can't place yours. And you have that pretty, young thing visiting you almost daily," Maeghan said. "I was a little jealous." She reached out and touched me. There was a charge that passed through that made me shudder.

"That was Kaylee. She was a courier for my job," I said, my voice quivering.

"Are you doing illegal things?" Maeghan asked.

"No," I said in a husky voice. Now I'm having trouble finding my voice.

"That's good. So, when do you leave?" Maeghan asked.

"In the morning. Early," I replied.

"Then there's not a lot of time to play around," she said and leaned forward. One of her hands rested on the side of my head, and she kissed me. Maeghan just blew my mind on many levels and with many things she did. The softness of her lips, her aggressiveness, and the electricity that flowed between us.

The next thing I remember is that I'm waking up as Maeghan was getting dressed. I rolled onto my side and watched her.

"So, how did you like your view of my body up close?" she asked.

"You have an awesome body," I said, sounding like a giddy teenager.

Maeghan looked at me. "Where did you get that scar?" she asked. "That's the only blemish on your body."  
"Childhood accident," I said and waved it off.

"It was fun, but I have to get going," she said.

I got out of bed and gave her a goodbye kiss. "It was fun," I said.

"When you come through again, we can do round two," she said.

"We'll see," I said.

She left. Not the first time I've loved and left, metaphorically. Looking at the clock, I noticed it was not worth going back to bed. I shower, get dressed, and pack the last of my things. I can be a cold bitch sometimes. I left her nothing of value to be stolen, just in case.

After finishing up, I say fuck it and get breakfast. After eating, I send Andre a selfie and text Muir that I'm heading home. Before checking in at the airport, I call Lucas and tell him I'm off and will be in touch when I'm back in the office.

Once in the air, I felt relaxed again. I mean relaxed. I had been on edge the whole time in North Carolina. I can't wait to get back to Brooklyn and back to my life. I need Rodney, my CDs, my little apartment. Like my spirit animal, Henry Rollins said, " _I need to do things on my own. Need to be left alone._ "


End file.
